[quote=“nowin”]My ex filed a motion to modify child support. We needed to file a counter motion because he’s in arrears and not following any of the original separation agreement with regards to child support, alimony, etc.
My lawyer says we must go to mediation first. She indicates to allow for 10 hours. This seems insane. As far as we are concerned, there’s nothing to negotiate. We aren’t going to negotiate with someone who has not abided by the first agreement he signed.
I can’t afford to pay my attorney $4,000 for ONE DAY to sit in a room, when there is nothing I will agree to. And, I’m guessing I will get billed for the mediator’s time as well? This is going to be 7-8k for the day.
My question is 1) does my attorney have to be present at the mediation, or can I go myself and 2) can I cap the mediation session to an hour since I know there is nothing to negotiate with my ex? He’s already told me that he will not compromise as well.
Seems like only the attorneys profit…I’ve already spent $4k with my attorney to just respond to his motion and add one of our own. This is before mediation and before it even goes to court. My ex owes me over 100k in back support – I can’t afford to pay these kinds of legal fees when I’m already in the hole.
Is there a cheaper way? this is insane![/quote]
[b]WOW!! 10 hours! That is insane … I know that you do not have to attend with your Attorney, but its wise to do so. When I went- there was a 2 hr min, and we stopped at 2 hours. I saw the mediator 2 times, first time for 5 min & she offered the take it or leave it scenario to me (from them), then I said no, and counter offered, she came back 90 min later- and for 9 min she said the same thing,… I said were done. Then they “suspended” it. I was upset about the cost too. I do have some ideas you might consider weather its You alone or with an attorney.
- Put together 3-4 offers and email to him/her with a copy to your attorney, and suggest settlement before mediation. Be reasonable.
- Put together 3-4 offers with copies & send just before mediation.
- Have written down on paper what you want & what you can be flexible on with numbers, assets, bank statements, bills, vehicles, Just before mediation, use your time wisely even if the other party don’t.
- If no agreement after mediation, continue to TRY & reach settlement. How? Avoid arguing & get to the point. Sell the house? Bills? Cars? Boat? Retirement? Support? Child support? Custody? Vacation Home? Airline miles? (you’d be surprised) Pets? Pictures?
Unfortunately for my X … the X made no effort to agree on anything for a period of 2 yrs, I was wonderfully compensated for my efforts (tried everything to reach settlement despite the X being in Contempt) and was awarded by the judge my attorney fees later on :). YES!! IT CAN HAPPEN!
Best of luck! [/b]