Question about visitation


I believe you may consent to do so if you wish, but if you don’t want to and she is unavailable, you don’t need to. She is the one forgoing visitation if she doesn’t show up personally to get them.


A representative can be used for “exchanges” of the children if necessary. This happens with a lot of couples if they are unable to get along. My husband’s ex monther-in-law often picks up the children or they are picked up from a sitter. I think your order states that so that the receiving parent must be responsible for travel expenses not necessarily that your ex must be the one to be there. This way neither of you are responsible for all the travel expenses.

This person is your children’s stepfather. Your ex can not travel so you are looking at two alternatives: One, the schedule is changed and the pick up date is move up prior to her delivery so that she is able to be there, or you allow the stepfather to pick them up. If you do not allow this to happen, are you willing to drive them to home? Or are you suggesting that the visitation be extended until such time that your ex may be able to travel again? From the sound of it, your ex has primary physical custody so the children must be returned after their visit with you.


I would assume that if she doesn’t arrive to pick up the children then I just continue my time with them. It’s in the paperwork that she must pick them up as the receiving party. I do not trust my children’s stepfather to drive them 1000 miles away without their mother their. Across town is one thing. I don’t know anything about this guy, nor do I know his driving habits, nor do I know if he would do anything inappropriate with my children when their mother’s not present.

If I was not physically able to pick up the children, would she have to drive 1000 miles to bring them to me??? Then why would I be expected to drive 1000 miles to deliver them to her? Or is this just another double standard against fathers?


That’s why I said that the wording of your order may mean that the receiving parent may not necessarily have to be present as long as they are still covering the responsibility of the expense. If you were not physically able to pick up your children then you would need to send someone in your place. This way it would still be your responsibility and your expense, not your ex’s. Does your order state that ONLY the receiving parent may pick up the child?

Do you have reason to think that this man your ex married and who lives with your children is not responsible or would be inappropriate with them? There have been previous incidents?
If you feel this strongly about it then yes, you will need to make arrangements to take the children home unless your ex agrees to an extended visit. If there is truly cause for concern then you should consult an attorney, otherwise you would be going against the order by not turning them over.

I can understand some of your concern but you should look at the reasons behind your actions. From your original post it looks as though you may resent having to let your children go with him…I mean, would you look at this differently if she were sending a different family member?

This may be a chance that your children need to spend some time with their stepfather alone. It’s not a bad thing. You don’t have to trust him. You don’t have to even like him. But he is married to your ex wife, he is your children’s stepfather, and he is involved in your life to that extent. Keep in mind that should you remarry, your ex may be in the same position someday…Just think about it…


What are the specific concerns about her Husband?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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My ex-wife and children reside in Missouri and I live in NC. Our consent order clearly states that the receiving parent must pick up the children and be responsible for transportation expenses. If she is due to have a baby on July 12th and she is supposed to pick up the children from me on July 23rd and she is not physically able to due to having a baby, do I have to relinquish my children to her new husband if she’s not present. Her husband is not their father and I don’t trust him to drive my children alone back to Missouri from NC.