Relocation with kids


#1

I want to hear from anyone with success in relocating with their children during a separation or after a divorce. I have been married 18 years, and have two children, 11 and 14. My STBX is in the military and we’ve been stationed here in NC for 3 years. Neither of us are from here. I would like to go back to OH, where my parents live, and take the children with me. My reasons are for emotional and financial support. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 14 years, but I’ve been working on my BA and will graduate next May. My plan is to become a teacher. My STBX is very opposed to the move, to the point where he told me I HAVE to stay here until our youngest graduates. He will not listen to anything I have to say regarding my ideas for sharing custody. I want the kids during the school year, with generous visitation during school breaks, holidays, etc. He would be wellcome to come down any weekend he can manage. While inconvienient, I do believe he would be able to take long weekends once a month, or every other month if he wanted to. He knows that I cannot afford to stay here on my own, and I believe this is his way of either making me give up my kids, or coming back to him.

My oldest has told me he wants to live with me. He does not get along with his Dad, although STBX seems to be trying harder to repair their relationship since I told him I want a divorce. Our youngest said she doesn’t want to choose between us because she doesn’t want to hurt either of us. My STBX has suggested that if my son tells the court he wants to live with me, he will make sure our daughter says she wants to live with him. I am very upset that he is suggesting making her decide when she clearly said she doesn’t want to. I cannot count on him to play fair, and he is insisting this goes to court.

Any advise is appreciated, including all perspectives.