Sadly, Using Custody as a Tool to hurt me

I believe that the courts do not normally rule on joint custody. You agree and work out an arrangement or it goes to court. In my opinion you are doing the right things. You have a choice about filing for child support but if I were you, I would not back down. In order to somewhat finacially take care of your daughter, you will need the money that is rightfully hers. I’m not sure what can be done about the sale of the home. I wouldn’t suggest lying to him about it, but do you have to tell him that you’ve filed? Won’t this affect his credit more than yours if the house is a forclosure?
If you have filed for custody, then you can possibly ask for supervised visitations but I think you will need to show cause.

Good luck to you

We’ve already sold the house, and he was there to sign.
I had to bring $81 to closing, and he said he couldn’t even pay for 1/2 of that. (then had awe to inquire about 1/2 of a possible $18 refund from the primary loan … you gotta love it).
I filed for child support, but he doesn’t know yet.
He says he’s not “living” with new girlfriend, yet his mother with whom he was living, told me he was. He’s called me from her home close to midnight, helping get her kids ready for bed.
She’s a loser based on her stupidity of showing up to our closing (where I got to meet her for the firsty time), and the background check that I did on her, showing she can’t keep a job, and her last CHARGE was in 1998 for larceny (but … not convicted, so I guess I should cut her some slack?).
I know I can’t protect my daugther from idiots forever, but I certainly can do my best to keep her from this type of environment.
Call me paranoid, but a 33 month old girl doesn’t need to be in a brokoen, poverty-ridden home of 3 pre-teen boys, either.
Plus, they smoke.
I used to, too, for years, but quit when I became pregnant.
How can I make sure she’s not up in their house full of cigg and other smoke?
Her dr. is convinced that hubby’s smoking is what caused so many ear infections and led to tubal surgery. Even tho he smoked outside, it was on his clothes and skin.

Dear The Mommy:

Greetings. Yes, you can ask for anything that you want to ask for - but in the end you need to ask for what is reasonable. I would also tell you that you will get what the court says is reasonable. Thank you and good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My soon-to-be ex filed for divorce, and I was served last week.
He said he was filing for joint custody, too, but nothing has hit the books yet.
Since I’m in Wake County, I rushed to file for custody, so this would at least be done in Wake county.
My 33 month old has been with me Primarily, since 8/18/05. He’s only asked to see her a handful of times.
I took her to see him and the grandmother, great grandparents, in August this last time … he’d actually asked me not to come, b/c he’d had a “rough night”, and been out all night, and in no shape for her to see him. Of course, I was 10 min. from there, so we showed up anyway … he hugged her, spent 10 min. with her, and left. That’s the last he’s seen her, and the last he’s asked to see her.
I, naively, have offered to take her to see that side of the family, and he’s turned me down.
Not paying anything for her.
I filed for Child Support a few wks ago, after I got the house ready for sale, and made sure he showed up to sign everything at closing. He’d threatened me NOT to file for Child Support, or he wouldn’t show up to the closing, and would just let it go to foreclosure.
THIS IS THE MENTALITY I’m dealing with.
I’ve tried to be nice.
He’s very nice, until you piss him off … then he kind of blacks out and goes crazy (bipolar/manic depression).
I’m meeting attorney at 3:30 today, paying $2500 retainer.
I’m hearing from diff. ppl who’ve been thru similar situations, that I might run thru this money quickly.
He’s bankrupted me, left me with all the bills until we settle in court, knows I’m strapped, and now trying to get my daughter, to whom he’s shown no interest in basically, except for crying straight for the first 6 months we were separated, but not getting the help he needed to get in order to hlelp our family stay together.
He keeps screwing me … I’ll get over it, but I have to be VERY SMART AND SWIFT in protecting my daughter as long as I can from his craziness.
I’m I doing the right thing, or does anyone see anything obvious that I"m missing?
A judge would be insane to award him any type of custody. But, that’s my opinion.
Can I ask for visitation rights for him, but on my terms, and supervised, and subject to a pre-drug screen/alcohol screen?