Seeking Soul legal and physical custody

Hello, I have a few questions. I have a four year old son that has been in my care since I gave birth to him in PA. He was given his father’s last name but his bio logical father never signed the paper work stating he is our son’s father. He refused to sign it because he said I was trying to trap him with childsupport. Never the less we broke up and went our seprate ways shortly after. i moved my two boys out of state to IN to be closer to my father and his family so the boys would have some type of good male role model. through out the last years i have never kept his son from him. He has been in and out of jail for drugs, robbery and some other things. He had a psyc. eval done in jail and confined in me this past march that the test came back that he had adha, bipolar, and sycophrinic( I don’t think i spelled that right, sorry). He is not seeking any medical attention for those things. He had I sucidual attempt at the end of March. In Jan of 07 i meet my husband we married in nov of 07. My hubsand has fully takin over responsiblitly as his father. he has a very good relationship with the boys. The biological father has been in and out of the picture since birth of his son. after we moved from pa in 06 he didnt see his son agian until the summer of 08. he visited for 2 weeks and then went back to pa. He was doing well about calling and trying to keep a realtionship with his son and then he droppped of the face of the earth agian. This whole process has been hard on our son. it is confussing him. well this past may his real father moved to NC with a non family relative so to speak. My husband and I took our son to go see me and told him that we can start setting up vistation for him. He said that would be nice. Since then he hasnt called until the beg. of june. I took my son out to go see him and it didnt go so well. He got upset at one of the young ladys that was there and decided he wasnt goingt o go through with the plans of spending time with his son. Since that took place he hasnt contacted until last night. He refusing to agree on parenting situations with my husband and I. He wants to see and talk to his son when he feels like it. That is not helping our son, it is confussing him and upsetting him.

My husband and I want him to see his son but we feel that it is in our son’s best interest to get Soul legal and physical custody. Since his real father is very unstable and unrelible. We are trying to raise our children to very productive , respectful well manner men. We are trying to instill values and morals in their lives. This situation in making this very diffcult. We are trying are best to be understanding but we just cant anymore. our son’s bio logical father has never paid child support or offered anything to help care for his son. He has past drug issues, and is not mentaly fit. We still would liek him to get to know his son but for it to be monitored. Until he can prove to be a fit parent. My husband would also like to seek step parent custodian over our son in the case of something happening to me the boys will be able to stay together and both will be well takin care of since his bio logical father is not capablie and has already said that he hopes I die so he can come take his son from my husband. Do we have any grounds to stand on? How do we go about the process for this? The bio logical father refues to come to any agreement between us. We really need to know what North Carolina laws are and if we can go forward with this? We are looking at the best interest of our son, Please help us. Thank You

You will need to file suit for child custody in the state where you and the child reside, not in North Carolina.