Separated and pregnant


I am legally separated and so is my SO. While my separation is very amicable, he isn’t having the same experience. His STBX admitted to an affair prior to split (affair was ended) and has current relationship with another person (status of relationship is unclear). There are children involved on both sides with undecided custody as well as current visitation being tumultuous at best. Our relationship is fairly new and was great for a while, however, stress has eaten away at us and it is likely that we will not remain together. I decided yesterday to accept a position in TN. I am moving in two months.

Heres the issue—I found out today that I am pregnant. What could happen to my SO? Could this be used against him in court with regard to custody?

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration…


I doubt it could be used against him in court with his STBX as far as him getting custody of his own, but it could be used against you in a Criminal Conversation lawsuit.


I am not so much concerned with myself in this situation. I am very concerned about the innocents that my actions may have effected. Isnt there a loophole with the criminal conversation law during separation? Seems ironic that I may be charged with a crime…

Thank you very much for your advice and information


No, there is no loophole. It’s a strict tort. They are still technically married until they are legally divorced. All she needs to prove is the existence of a sex act between you two. In about a month, the law will change so that post separation conduct can’t be used, but since you obviously had sex prior to that, you are still technically liable. The good news is that if you don’t have much in the way of money, then there’s not much encouragement for her to go after you since it’s expensive to prosecute.


Your SO could be sued by your STBX for alienation of affection or criminal conversation. Both of these actions are civil suits in which money damages are sought, and despite the name the actions are not criminal and there is not a threat of incarceration. With respect to custody issues, your SO’s morality could come into play in a custody case, however having an affair is likely not to be adjudged as something that affects one’s ability to care for children.