Separation Time Line


I’m in the military stationed in Va, but my wife lives in NC on her own accord with our daughter. Times have been rough over the past year and divorce might be on the horizion. I haven’t lived in the same house with her full-time since Feb 09. I was stationed overseas from Feb 09 to Feb 10. In April 09 she informed me she would remain in NC and not move to my new duty station when I returned to the states in which she was true on her word. Knowing that. I know in NC you have to be separated for a year before you can get divorced. Could the time we already have apart count towards that year of separation?


The period of separation begins when you begin living separate and apart AND at least one of you has the intention of remaining separate and apart.


I need some advice. I have been separated for 4 months, but my son mother has recently moved to Florida. Sent she has abandoned the custody agreement and moved out of state, do I still need to wait the entire 12 months to file? We are both ready for this to be over and done with, the property has been split, and the Custody of my son will be with me as primary, with visitation in place. Please let me know what I can do?


You cannot obtain a divorce in North Carolina without livng separate and apart for a year and a day. Your ex may be able to file Florida, but I do not know the law there.


I can answer about FL law, (I moved there when I left my stbx). In FL, there is only a 6-month waiting period…so once she has lived here for 6 months, she can file for the divorce. I was able to file after only living in FL for 7 months (had to wait till I had money for a lawyer, hence the extra month)…

However, keep in mind that FL is different as for how the divorce is granted. UNLIKE NC, where you can get the divorce while custody and ED are still pending, in FL, that is not the case…and everything is all incorporated into the divorce proceedings. So, if ED or anything else is still pending, the divorce will not be completed, which is why I am still technically married to my stbx…he won’t agree to anything. I filed for my divorce over 5 months ago…


Florida will not have jurisdiction over ED and custody, you should wait the year and file in NC to avoid unnecessary complications and jurisdictional issues.


Very true, and something I didn’t think about, I’m sorry! stbx also moved to FL, and jurisdiction got moved…so the stbx filing in FL will really make it very messy…


So we don’t have to file separation papers. I came back from overseas last Feb. I moved to Va by myself on March 12, 2010. So on March 13 of 2011 we can file for divorce? What are the cost of filing papers? Thanks.


It depends on the law in VA. I can only speak to what the law is in NC.


My wife is filing for divorce in NC where she lives. I’ve lived in Va by myself since March 12, 2010. So on March 13, 2011 she could file for divorce. Is that correct?


Yes, that is correct.


Husband had affair 5/2009 while overseas (have proof on email). He came home 9/2009 (for two weeks- before returning overseas). At that time, I asked for counseling and requested that he come home to go to couples counseling together. He agreed to come home “for good” 12/2009. He came home, no counseling. Once again promises to come home in 4/2010- I demanded a timeline for his return, he balked at idea of “timeline.” Communication was sporadic, I told him I had no intentions of staying married to someone who would not commit to coming back and was not interested in being married. He said he wanted to work things out with counseling, once again promised he would come home for good 12/2010. He came home- limited communication, and once again he left with no promises of permanent return. He told me to do what I needed to do. I have had little/no contact aside from his communication with his children. My question’s are: when can I say my separation began? What type of documentation (proof) do I need to provide? I honestly just want this to be done and over with, but fear (has documented violent history) that once he is served, he will not sign just to be spiteful. Any information is appreciated.


The separation begins when at least one of you determined that your physical separation would remain permanent and that you would not be resuming your marital relationship. Your sworn statement (signed before a notary) in the form of a Complaint for divorce (and other issues if applicable) will be sufficient to allege the date of separation.