Separation vs. Reconciliation

Reconciliation would mean that you are living under the same roof with your spouse as a married couple, including all the actions of a married couple. Sleeping together, sharing finances, spending spare time together. It has little to do with where you spend time with the children. If you have a separate address and are not working on your marriage, then it would not be considered reconciliation.

I understand that with the special needs child, it may be difficult to do, but it may be a better idea to have your time with the children somewhere other than the marital home. If you are separated with the intentions to divorce, then eventually, you will not have a “place” in the home. Especially, if/when one of you begin to date. This is a difficult time for everyone but this year separation can work to help everyone get adjusted to a new situation. I suggest getting some sort of agreement worked out and work out a new arrangement to try. You may have to try out several different schedules depending on the needs of your child, but it would be a good idea to look ahead in this situation. This will also help the other child deal with the fact that you and the other parent are no longer together as married. Every child wants their parents to get back together and by you being in the marital home every day it may give the child false hope that this is a temporary situation.
If it is not certain that you are getting divorced after the year and area working on your relationship, then there is nothing wrong with keeping the same schedule and staying so closely to the routine. This is just my opinion though and you should do what is best for you and your children. Good Luck!

Thanks Stepmother. We have a separation agreement indicating in clear that the wife will not date if she choose to stay in the house, and I am living with a roommate friend until we find a solution either to sell the house or one of us buy out the other. I still pay all the house bills and give the wife child support money. But where I live I don’t have any bills in my name its all in my roommate name. Do you think I am in trouble for doing that? Please Advice. Thanks

No. There shouldn’t be any kind of problem since you have a separation agreement. If your spouse chooses to attempt to create a problem all you would need to do is have the roommate testify that you have been living there. Most of the time the one year one day separation is not questioned. The courts will take your word that you have been separated the required amount of time to file for divorce.

No, it is unlikely this would be considered reconciliation.

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Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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My spouse and I are separated, But I still go home after work to help with kids homework, sleeping, bathing