Separation with no agreement


My wife and I have been having problems and decided it would be best for me to leave house. We entered into this separation with nothing written down as far assets, child visitation, etc.

My question revolves around two topics:

  • ‘Abandonment’ – since we have no agreement would this be something that can be used against me (if she chose to say that I moved out without her agreement)? I’ve read conflicting things online about how abandonment plays into divorce proceedings.
  • ‘Alienation of Affection’ – The first couple’s counselor we saw quickly told my wife that I could be sued for AoA. Is this a common charge, or just something taken into account in the greater process?


Abandonment: Unless you left her high and dry with no means of helping pay the bills or help with financially supporting the children, then don’t worry. You have to have let her know you were leaving AND provided some financial help.

A of A: this is a 3rd party claim. If you’re fooling around with someone else and she knows it, she can pursue this claim. The A of A claim would be filed against the 3rd party…not you.


Abandonment is a claim that really doesn’t hold much water this day in age, and you should not be concerned about this type of claim.
Alienation of affection is actually a 3rd party claim in which the aggrieved spouse sues a third party for “stealing the affections” of his or her spouse.