My wife and I have been married 12 years; we have 9 yo twins. When we have diasgreements, we both engage in inappropriate behavior such as yelling, name calling, etc. Basically escalates as one reacts to the others reaction; since I am much larger and louder, I end up with the abuse card thrown at me. We’ve been to only 1 counselor before and recently met with our minister. I want to work on saving our marriage but she does not- and now says she is not comfortable being around me; feels threatened. I have not been served any papers yet, but am concerned since she is feeling threatened and verbally abused and have many concerns and questions concerning the impending separation. What are the methods by which I can be asked to leave the house … ie divorce from bed and board, etc. And with each, how long do I have before I need to move out ? Are extensions possible ? Can she change locks and alarm codes ? Who pays the household bills when one party has left (she has already taken 1/2 of our joint funds). If she were to move out, is she allowed to take the kids with her, or can only she go >


It is hard to kick a spouse out of their house. Usually the only ways to do it are DVPO or a child custody/support order that gives one spouse possession of the house.

She can’t change the locks and alarm code while you live there.

You both remain legally responsible for the mortgage. How much you should pay depends on the situation.

If she moves out she can take the kids. You both have equal right to them in the absence of a court order.


Thanks fot reply on changing locks and alarm i meant cam whomever stays in the house do that after the other person has left. You mention if one moves out they can take kids with them but both pareents have equal acess
If one takes them how does the other get access
…i didnt think they could do so since neither has custody. Thx


Legally both parents have split custody of the children unless there is a formal agreement otherwise or unless there is a court order declaring otherwise.

In reality, exercising custody and/or visitation can be somewhat problematic if the parent with current physical custody wishes to block any visitation. However, if you set up a written agreement in advance or file for joint custody once you separate, then it’ll give you some leverage.