Seperated and pregnant with other man's child


#1

Until custody is decided by agreement or court order, both parents have equal rights to the children. Most of the time the courts “award” primary physical custody to the parent who has been the primary caregiver. Since she has been the primary caregiver, as long as the child is in no physical danger, there is no reason to think that would change. If it comes to that though, the court will look at the history of both parents, their ability to care for and provide for the child and their willingness to do that. The best scenario is for the child/children to have both parents as involved in their lives as much as possible but sometimes that’s just not an option. Keep in mind that unless it’s stated, NC defaults to joint legal custody regardless of which parent has primary physical custody.

I suggest that she get a separation agreement with her stbx that includes custody so that she can relax a little on the custody issue.

Having an affair usually has little to do with custody issues. That is something that the spouse does that does not normally involve the children…“on their own time” so to speak.


#2

Hi Folks,

This question is more to calm my future fiance’s nerves and get some input on what MAY happen in light of our current situation. Please don’t judge me or tell me that I made a stupid mistake…my situation is what it is and none of this is exactly the way that my future finance and I might like it to me.

That being said, my future fiance is going through seperations. I am not married. Before she left her husband she became pregnant. There is no doubt that this child is mine and I am fine with that and actually happy at the promise of having a child with this woman. She has a child from this marriage and there is no doubt that she will get custody of her daughter. She has been an excellent mother and was pretty much sole support financially for the family. Her husband had a hard time holding onto a job all throughout their marriage. While he was out of work their daughter still went to daycare and even through the initial stages of the seperation he hasn’t shown much interest in really taking care of her…no phone calls…no child support until there was a court order…picking up daughter late and dropping her off early. Anyhow…her daughter means the world to her and even the thought of him fighting for custody once he finds out that she is pregnant scared her to death. I have tried to assure her that even though this might not look good a court would take their entire history into consideration and not punish her for this one indiscretion. Yes, it is a big thing and both of us are pretty moral people…church goers, don’t drink or do any drugs, don’t swear, love our kids, work hard, pay our bills, love our families. My question is, does he have a snowball’s chance in hell of actually getting custody of her daughter? If he walked into your office would you try to disuade him to drop it and move on with his life and be glad that he has liberal visitation. I know that he can go after me for criminal converstation but my only concern is for her and her daughter. I’ll take the beating or whatever lies in store for me.

Thank you in advance