Thank You so much for the advice. I was like ‘WOW’.
I want to date a really good friend. My children have actually known him longer than me.(2 1/2 yrs to be axact) They are the one’s who keeps telling us to go on a date. He is well respected, great job, has never done drugs, matter of fact, he was a sunday school teacher for his chruch back home. My STXB is highly jealous of him.(Don’t know why because we are friends) He had made comments to his family about this person. Telling them that him and I, will end up being together. (No, Never have been with this person before) We just started hanging out about 4 months after seperation. He would help my son with things around the house. Mow the yard. All the things I use to have to do all by myself even when I was with the STBX.
This person bought a house but right now can’t afford to be in it on his own. So he has it up for rent. I want to rent it because it has room for horse’s, don’t need landlord harrassments for being single parent and not married to a military person. I want a safe, and secure place for the children and i.
The ‘friend’ and only a friend, is scard that my STBX will come after him. We have not done nothing. Gosh he won’t even take me out on a date til i am divorced. That is why i came on here to ask questions. When i do go out, which has only been 4 times since the seperation and it is a group date. I was getting harrassed by him. I just feel it is time i actually go out on a date and start a new life.
I did tell the STBX that i am tierd of him getting on with his life and i have to stay home and not with mine. That it is time for me to start dating and having me time every once in awhile. He wasn’t to happy about that. I think it is something about the 1 year waiting period of being apart and seeing if the divorce is what we want. I filed so yes, I want the divorce.
I don’t leave my children home alone for long periods of time.(well not the little one’s at all) I have teenagers and if they want to stay home they stay home. (not his children). I always take the younger ones with me everywhere i go. When i go out, (thats when i do go out) I have three sitters. All of North Carolina law sitters. First aid certified. 16 yr old, 15 yr old, 14 yr old. Gosh they are better at taking care of the children than him or some ppl around…lol
Nothing that I would like to happen has happened before our seperation or at the beginning or middle of it. We are almost done and I think 9 months is long enough. A mother of alot of children should be able to have mommy time, right? Social Services even told me to get out and take a breathe. (long story about them, but had nothing to do with me it was on STBX). Anyhow she told me to get out because i was with the children all day, all week, and she even went out two a month. No, I am lucky to even get 1 night out every two or three months…lol
But, I am just scard. He didn’t want us. He abandoned us. I filed for the seperation for divorce. Now i get controlled and just want to know the laws. I want to make sure that since i live in this pain in the neck state, that i won’t lose my son. He is 2 yrs old and he is close with his siblin’s. He has 5 before him and 1 after him. My children are close to eachother.
Again, thank you so much for all your kind words and advice. I just don’t like the laws here and reading them is very confusing. I don’t know what is right or wrong. I would read one thing that says, ‘yes’ but anothing that says, ‘no’ that this or that will happen. I am just a confused mother. No, not confused in taking care of the children for I Love them dearly and am a d@mn good mother. They come first before me or anyone else!