She wants me to take the first steps


15 yrs of marriage and 3 kids. I always handled the $ and we ended up claiming ch7 a year ago. She was mad at me and herself for allowing it to go that far and never getting involved.

a year later and she wants me to move out to show that I can grow up and has said that it is the only way that she could see us ever making it work.

Can she force me to leave our bedroom?
Can she force me to leave our home?

I still believe that we can move forward together. we have no extra for 2 households. all is needed for one.

If I move, she has legal right to the house and I have nothing? So I would be stupid to leave, correct? If she wants to take action, is it up to her?

There’s no abuse of any kind, just what she views as ‘controlling emotional’ abuse because of how I have tried to keep the financial stress from her over many years (although I didn;t handle it well either).


The only way to force you from the home is to file for Divorce from Bed & Board for one of the reasons listed:

"What fault grounds can be used to file for divorce from bed and board?

The complainant seeking a divorce from bed and board must establish at least one of the six fault grounds enumerated in the statute: abandonment, malicious turning out of doors, cruel or barbarous treatment, indignities, excessive use of alcohol or drugs rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable, or adultery. Further, the complainant must allege that he or she did not provoke the other spouse’s misconduct. The right to jury trial in an action for divorce from bed and board is governed by the statutory provision permitting a jury to make the factual findings on issues of fault."

Normally, my stand on this is that the person wanting the separation should be the one to leave the home. With 3 children involved, none of this will be easy. Is there any way either of you have someone to stay with for a while until the financial situation changes? Though that may not be what your spouse is looking for, financially that may be one of the few options…


Absent extreme bad behavior (violence, habitual alcohol abuse or adultery) your spouse cannot force you to leave the home, or the bedroom.
If you do chose to leave the home you will lose your rights to possession of the home, and cannot return absent an invitation, but home is still marital property and you will not lose your interest in the value of the home.


ok, I understand that if I leave the home, I cannot come back without a court order allowing me into the home. I would obviously be REALLY stupid to take the offer from her to ‘get my own place’ so I can ‘think about things’.

am I exposing myself legally to leave the bedroom? She said “you go down the hall or I will”… I voluntarily have slept down the hall for the past 2 nights. Will I be seen as 'taking the first step"? Should I go back to our bed and refuse to leave?

No, there’s no grounds for bed/board. No abuse, no violence, no adultery… just levels of frustration.


Leaving the bedroom is of no legal consequence whatsoever.