Sick Child visitation


OK quick recap - I was allowed by a Mecklenburg County judge at the end of August to move out of state with my 6 yr old son. The judge mentioned that I am to bring my son up once a month (until a review), preferably around a school holiday or holiday for his father to have visitation with him.

So father and I had agreed that Labor Day would be his visitation time. Since this was just around the corner from our court date, I decided to stay in town instead of wasting my gas and time to travel to my new home state which was 8 hours away and would have cost $200 in gas there and back and I didn’t want to turn around a week and a half later to bring my son back up for visitation and spend another 16 hours in the car and another $200 in gas. So my son started school here and missed two weeks of school in his new home state.

NCP confirmed a day before the time and place of pick up, all was good. In a separate text message, I mentioned to him that he would have to give our son his ADHD medication (which he had forgotten to do in the past) along with the antibiotics he was on for walking pneumonia (which he wasn’t contagious and had already been on antibiotics for 5 days). I also mentioned that our son was having diarrhea but after speaking with the nurse on-call from the doctor’s office, she said our son would be ok to visit with his father and that he is not contagious at all. Once he received this information, he proceeded to tell me that he “he didn’t want our son to be around their 5 month old baby and the other kids” but then in a message shortly after that he proceeded to say “that he forgot that his step son was sick and didn’t want the chance of passing it back and forth.”

So he is demanding that I bring our son up at the end of the month to reschedule his missed visitation. What is he going to do in the future if his kids are sick and it’s his weekend to get our son? Is my son suppose to miss a day of school to visit with his father because they were sick?

If I don’t make the trip up at before the end of the month, is a judge going to think that I was being uncooperative? I don’t have the money to spend $200 on gas again. I stayed an extra week and a half for him to have his visitation and for me to save money in gas expense!

Also, we have been here now going on 3 weeks and he has now missed “Skyping” with our son 2 times and hasn’t called him (which he never did anyway).

As of this date, our court order hasn’t been approved by the judge so that is why I am confused about what to do.

Thanks for your advice!


Not an atty, but someone who was allowed to relocate 8 hours as well and has been thru this.

Some advice from experience – First, unless your Order states you have to make up missed time, you don’t have to. Second, you offered the child and father refused. He forfeited his visit.

DO NOT bring up the missed calls and Skpye to Father. Just keep a log of the calls that were missed. When you go back into Court for your final hearing, this will be important.


I agree with RPH. If your court order hasn’t been signed yet, it’s hard to know whether you are violating the order. What you have stated about the ordered visits, makes me think there is some leeway for when they are scheduled, but if he had one scheduled and then canceled, I don’t think you have to reschedule later this month.