Some advice needed concerning ED/PSS/Alimony

I’ll try to keep this short and on subject. This is in Mecklenburg County NC. After only 3 1/2 years of marriage, my wife received green cards for she and her two children and promptly “disappeared” with our new car and all of our money, but not before falsely accussing me on DV. The intial judge denied her ex-parte on that day and 3 weeks later a subsequent judge dismeed the case, because there was NEVER any DV. Of course, that record is non-expungable.

During our marriage I gave 100% of my resources ( time, money etc etc ) to our marriage. She did not. I filed for ED and have a Motion for Leave to Amend Complaint adding PSS and alimony to the original complaint.

Concerning ED, I have these questions:

  1. I am not vested in my retirement yet. The ED affadavit says to list vested retirement benefits. I have received an affadavit from the NC retirement system already. Do I need to list that in my ED affadavit? And if so, will she most likely receive half in the form of a QDRO?
  2. I also have a 401k, but I also have a loan out against my 401k ( which was used for home improvement mostly ). If she is eligible for 1/2 of my 401k that accrued during the marriage, is she also responsible for 1/2 of the debt on the 401k loan ( payroll deducted ).
  3. Less than 10 months before separating, she had breast augmentation surgery and it was paid in full before separating using marital funds. Can I list that on my ED affadavit and should I be credited with 1/2 of the funds used to pay for that?

Concerning PSS/Alimony, I have these questions:

  1. She grosses 75k a year. I gross 42k a year. She has the job she has now due to direct contributions on my part during our marriage. Does it look like my PSS claim will be approved?
  2. Without a SA in place, I am unable to drop she and her 2 children from my health insurance plan. Prior to separating, we orally agreed that IF we separated she would reimburse me monthly for those costs. She has not done that. Will the court credit me with those costs?

Concerning court, I have these questions: The IPTC is mid-July. I have already filed and served CCF-33 and almost have my ED affadavit complete.

1)Should I prepare motions for admissions/requests for production etc etc and have them ready to file after the IPTC?.
2)Should I contact her attorney pre-IPTC and try to schedule a “meet and confer” conference to settle out of court?

I appreciate any feedback.

Your questions are very technical and generally beyond the scope of the forum. The short answers are:


  1. The pension will be divided based on a coverture fraction.
  2. She’s entitled to half the balance that accrued during the marriage, and responsible for half the debt.
  3. Probably not.


  1. I’d have to see both your financial affidavits to answer this question.
  2. I wouldn’t do that, and your plan may not let you. You are still monetarily responsible for her injuries even though you are separated.

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