Step Parenting

Good Morning
I am new to this, but have a question.
I am a divorced mother with two children, recently remarried to a man with two children. There are no issues on my childrens end. However, one of my husbands children is with us 50/50. Alternating by a couple days a week then weekends. His x-wife always starts some type of issue or fussing if I pick up the 11year old, if I go to school for her open houses and such to support her, just anything here recently. In the past, there wasn’t a problem. My husband and I have been together for over 4 years and I have always been involved with her (taking her to school on time, getting her in church, putting her in Girl Scouts, supporting her at school events etc - all where her mom didn’t come to support her). The x-wife didn’t have anything to say. Now, its changed and making things very uncomfortable between me and my step daughter and me and my husband. Where my step daughter used to come in and be happy to be here, now after being with her mom for a weekend she is all down and makes comments like “you’re not my mom, why are you looking at my school work”. I know where these comments are coming from, and they hurt. At the same time, she is the first one to talk to me about taking her prom dress shopping, doing her hair, taking pictures and these other things that a mom/stepmom/good role model would do.

Most recently, the 11 year old was sick, she was out of school and being cared for by a 16 year old child that is not in school. I was getting off work early, so advised I would be glad to go pick her up when I was told “Id rather not have to hear it”. Which again tells me that the x-wife has something to say. This was our weekend, our day with the 11 year old.

Could you help clarify what a “StepParents” rights are in the state? Do I have any rights? Any say?

No, not really. Unfortunately, in the case of involved step-parents like yourself, you really do not have legal standing in regards to your step-children.