Stepparent Prohibited from Pickup of Child @School


#1

My suggestion is that you indicate by reply e-mail that the child will not need to be attending afterschool on Wednesday’s since it will not be necessary and this should end up resulting in less money your ex pays out. I could be wrong but since this is your custodial day it may be that you have a say for that one day…hopefully an attorney will answer. Keep records of all this for future reference
After you are married I do not believe that there is anything barring your wife from picking up the child since legally they will be family but it may be necessary to contact the school yourself.

I am sorry that your ex feels it necessary to make things more difficult for your child. The only person this is truly hurting is your child, though it is an inconvenience for you. Trust me when I say that if your ex is trying to keep your child and your fiancee from having a relationship, it will not work, especially if they have already become close. And that it will likely come back around on her. Just because a child likes the stepparent or even loves them, that does not dimish their feelings for their parent. The only things that dimishes their feelings is the parent’s actions and guilt over how they feel. Most parents have a hard time remembering this and end up putting the child in the middle.
My own stepsons went through this with thier mother. I do not doubt that they love their mother as much as they ever have, but they have seen her in a different light and they have thought a little less of her. They respected her a little less because of the way she acted towards me when me and my husband were dating. I still see the result of her actions over two years ago in the way they treat her. I can only tell you that with time, it does get easier.


#2

It may be worth pushing back on the issue. Courts usually give some deference to step parent relationship, especially if the relationship is positive and nurturing to the child. If you have joint legal custody, there is no reason the YMCA should not let you add your fiance to the list of persons authorized to pick up your children.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#3

With you being the parent, why not just add your fiancee yourself? No sense in creating drama. If she wants to be the cause of distress to you child, that will be her choice. And if she does make it an “issue”, then do as was previously suggested and have your fiancee pick the child up from school on Wednesdays. It is a shame, but sometimes parents are selfish and shortsighted with the needs of their own kids.


#4

We thought we would be able to just talk to the Y and add her, but the registration forms (which include persons authorized to pick up the child) only require the signature of one parent. My ex is going to submit the registration for our child, so it appears I have no input on the registration itself, or anything contained in the form. After doing some poking around on the internet about other school districts/school care programs, many registration forms require the signature of both parents/legal guardians. Not the Wake County Y, apparently.


#5

Even though the forms only require the signature of one parent, if you should them a copy of your custody order, they should allow you to add another parent. Have you tried contacting the Y and asking if you can fill out registration information as well?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#6

I am in the process of working out before and after school arrangements for my child for the upcoming school year. Since the conclusion of the last school year, I have become engaged and my fiancee is moving to North Carolina.

My ex has just indicated that, because she will receive a discount on after-school programs through her membership at the Y, she would prefer to sign our child up for after-school care to take advantage of the discount. She plans to sign our child up this week. I have no problem with this, in principle, but I just received an e-mail from her indicating that she is not including my fiancee on the list of persons authorized to pick up my child from school.

Is there anything I can do about this? My fiancee is going to be working out of our home, and planned to handle our weekly Wednesday afternoon pickups. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it isn’t the worst that could happen, but it is yet another needless complication by my ex.

Would it make any difference once my fiancee and I are married?

Is it worth pushing back on this issue? Presumably my fiancee will be taking my child to school on Thursday mornings, because that is something that my ex truly cannot control. To reiterate from previous posts, my child and my fiancee have become very close and have a great relationship.

Thank you!!