From what I understand (and I am by no means anyone that really knows anything), CSE will only deal with things to do with child support - nothing that has anything to do with visitation, and it seems to me that this is really a visitation issue. CSE told my STBX and me that it does not matter whether you are seeing the kids or not, whether you can afford to live where you do or not, or what is going on in your personal lives. The only thing that matters to them (and their lawyer) is how much you make, how much your ex makes, how much you pay each in child care, how much you each pay for health insurance and who has the kids the most (not who has primary or split custody). I had extra-ordinary expenses in my child support, (huge medical bills) and they just had it ordered that he pays 50% of the medical bills. My STBX asked about visitation questions and when he could stop paying support, and how often he can see them, and they told him that none of that matters.
So, the long and short of it is, I think you’ll have to have an attorney. Good Luck.
His medical records sound like they are relevant to a child custody hearing, but may not be relevant for child support. Can you tell me how you are trying to use these records in your child support case?
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
OK, here’s the deal. Last year my X kept my youngest son 7 years old approximately 10 days per month. He kept the oldest one 15 maybe 5 nights total in 2007. Back in March I put my foot down and told him he would have to keep the oldest one every other weekend to give me a break. He said he would but he wanted the youngest one 12 nights per month. I verbally agreed at the time but have expressed my unhappiness with this verbal agreement and he wont budge. Recently his over time has been cut at the post office so he has been bribing the oldest one to stay more and more and will not give in to me having the youngest one back to my original amount of nights. Basically what is happening is he knows he’s not paying enough child support, has lost his additional income and is all of a sudden trying to be the greatest parent as he knows child support services will soon be breathing down his neck.
Furthermore he has had an attorney writing me letters telling me that he cannot afford more child support, that he is not changing the schedule and basically that I am SOL. I have no legal counsel so I was hoping that Child Support Services would agree to help me with this situation or at least see through what he is trying to do. I probably could prove him an unfit parent with all of the rehabs and drugs and alcohol he takes so I was wondering if I could use this as a bargaining tool to get what I want. I also wonder if they will go back on him for lack of payment from not keeping the oldest one hardly at all last year and get me that money. Furthermore he never has paid me the money from the 401-k that was agreed upon in our divorce settlement. HELP!!!
If I’m reading this correctly, in order to get out of paying more he is taking more visitation. Is that correct? And you are trying to get visitations reduced in the agreement because 1) he wasn’t taking them and 2) it would mean more money in child support? The ex now wants the extra time that he’s been paying for and more. You want for him to NOT to take the time he was originally supposed to take (like he was doing) and to increase child support. You demanded for him to keep the children more and he agreed. Now you would rather he didn’t have the extra time but instead just paid you more support.
And you want the Child Support Enforcement Agency to take him to court to get money that he would have paid you last year had the agreement specified the amount of nights he actually had the children rather than when he was supposed to have them.
Is that a correct summary?
Do you have an amount in an agreement or court order? Have you run the calculator with the current arrangement to see what the amount is that is supposed to be paid? Child Support Enforcement will not do anything about the visitations. If you have a custody agreement in place then that is what the child support amount will be based on, regardless of whether or not the schedule was actually followed. That is what CSE will go by. They can not go back to get retro pay if there is no amount due according to the agreement. They can not increase a past amount.
You will have to take the ED back to court if he has not followed the courts instructions on payment.
As far as the alcolhol and drug use…The only thing to do would be to take custody back to court given that you do not feel your children are safe. My only concern with this arguement is that you demanded that he take more time with them to give you a break…you may be in a difficult spot defending that in court. I know that this is frustrating but you can not have it both ways. If he is attempting to be a better parent, regardless of the reason, is that not what is truly best for the children?
Child support enforcement will not help you with the custodial issues. Child support enforcement will base the child support order on the current custodial schedule. If you do not agree with the current custodial situation, you will need to file an action for custody and ask the court to address the custodial situation.
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
There is nothing in writing about a custodial agreement. Our divorce agreement states that I have primary custody and that he has liberal visitation that is to be worked out between the two of us.
I am not happy with the current visitation schedule. Since there is nothing really concrete in writing regarding visitation, can’t I just pick up my kids whenever I feel like it?
Recently since he lost his overtime pay he has had an attorney write to me accusing me of harassment, state that he is not paying me any more child support, that he is not changing the visitation schedule, and that he is not paying half of the medical bills that he agreed to pay in our divorce settlement. This attorney has accused me of harrassing my X at work when that is the only place I can get in touch with him since he has turned his home telephone off. I cannot even call my children when they are at his house, yet he calls my house whenever he feels like it. There is also a 401-k account which I was to have received a portion of which I have not. A letter was sent to his attorney in 2005 asking him to provide that info on that account and neither my X or his attorney ever responded. I have a copy of that letter.
Furthermore I have to chase him down for my child support check every other week as he refuses to mail it or drop if off. Today is Wednesday and he still hasn’t paid me from Friday and I cannot call him since he has no telephone.
If you have a visitation schedule in place that you have been following, then that is the part that has been worked out between you. If you want to change that schedule, and you two can not agree, then you will need to have it brought back before the court to have them decide the schedule. Based on what you previously posted, the courts are not likely to change the schedule since you were the one to suggest it and it has been being followed.
If you are having a problem getting the child support from him, I suggest that you quit contacting him at all and let the enforcement agency handle the situation. The child support will still be owed to you based on the schedule that has been in place.
On the rest of it…you could send a letter to the ex’s attorney stating that since if you are not allowed to contact your children while they are with their father, he will no longer be allowed to contact your home while they are with you. Or you can state one time during the day that you will allow a phone call to the children from him. Should the ex rethink the current situation with not allowing you to contact the children then you will reconsider your stand on this matter also. Realize that he is calling his attorney every time you call him. If he calls your home, do not speak with him. Let the children speak with him and then hang up. DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH HIM, and do not argue with him. And realize that this is all that he is doing, playing games. When you do talk to him, try to be calm. State what you need to say and be done with conversation.
Let the attorney know in writing that you will no longer contact the ex and that from this point on you will let the Child Support Enforcement Agency contact the ex when child support is late. State the current amount that is owed and keep documentation every week of when he pays you and when he is late.
Let them know that you will cease all attempts to contact the ex but that they should be aware that this will include not contacting him for any reason. Let him send you an e-mail or letter if he would like to discuss anything. Let the attorney know, in writing that you would like to be able to work together to raise your children separately and if he is not willing to work together amicably then you will not be amicable either. Let the attorney know that he did agree to pay 1/2 the medical bills and give the amount owed on that, with proof. Keep records of everything. Do not put anything in the letter that you do not intend to stick to.
I know that this all sounds very harsh but if you had an attorney you would not be getting these letters. The attorney’s office would be getting them. All the disputes would go through their office instead of directly to you. Your ex is using that fact to his advantage. Every time you call, he can contact his attorney and tell them you are harrassing him, then he goes on about his day. Regardless of why you are trying contacting him, if he has asked you not to call his work, then you should quit calling his work. The children are not with him at his work, so the courts could see this as harrassment.
As far as the 401K is concerned, you may have to hire an attorney to get this distributed as it should have been. Or you can send a copy of the letter to his attorney every week requesting that this matter be resolved.
stepmom, you know a lot about this stuff!
and you know what the funny thing is…the attorney that has been contacting me is the same one that handled our divorce agreement. he knows what the x was paying me in child support originally, he knows that the x should be paying half of the medical bills as well as he knows that he agreed to the 401-k money that i was go receive! he also told me that i was not to contact my ex that i was only allowed to talk to him. furthermore this attorney is not even getting paid by my x. he works for free! do you or anybody out there know of an attorney that works for single parents for low cost in the RTP area? i think i need help.
It sounds like you need to do something to get a specific schedule in place. The two of you can reach an agreement about this, but if you cannot the court will assist you. Many counties have free custody mediation processes.
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
I am in the beginning stages of working through the NC Child Enforcement Agency to get my child support amount straightened out. My X-husband is doing his best to try to keep the kids more and keeps trying to bribe them to come live with him so as not to have to pay as much. He is diagnosed bipolar, is an alcoholic, and is on methadone for pain as well as other narcotics for various ailments which he drinks alcohol with. I have several times had to pick my kids up for him as he called and admitted he had been drinking. All of his medications and abuse patterns are documented at the various Rehab facilities that he has been to and the current physicians that he sees have all the meds that he currently uses.
Question…How difficult is it to subpoena his medical records? Will the NC Child Enforcement people do that for me or am I going to have to hire my own attorney? I am intersted in the welfare of my chldren and am very concerned for their safety.