Take kids out of state for holiday ok?

As long as you comply with the courts order and make notification you should be fine. DO NOT let her get away with controlling you and your rights to be with your children. Once you allow it, she will use the children to try and manipulate you for years to come.

Are you scheduled for the 4 days in question? Make sure you do not break any court order visitation schedule. If, you are scheduled for those 4 holiday days with your children, and you let her know where you are and where you can be reached at all times, then you are fine.

My wife pulled the same thing on me but was able to get away with it since a schedule for holidays has not been defined yet. She told the courts she did not want me to take our sons to Florida for 4th of July to visit family because she had a dream that they were eaten by alligators! When my lawyer questioned her about this in court by asking her if our children had ever been threatened by alilgators during the 8 years we lived in Florida she said no. She came off looking like a real nutcase to everyone in the courtroom.

What you will find is that if you do what the courts order of you, she will eventually do somehting stupid which will be to your advantage. Make sure you document everything in a journal with dates and time and if possible have witnesses.

Also, it is always a good idea to run things by your attorney first.


Well I am not supposed to have them that weekend, BUT, we do have a clause in our agreement where it says we alternate holidays like thanksgiving. SHe had them last year. To me, she will let me have them UNLESS she finds out beforehand about the pa trip. I will tell her of it only once I have the kids securely in my possesion…on the way back to my house in the car. thanks…

If you have alternating holidays and she had the children last year then you are correct that this Thanksgiving should be yours. You could send her a written notice of your intentions, (if the agreement does not say that the notice has to be (ex. two weeks) prior, that way, you are complying with the agreement, and you have proof of this in writing. Copy it and send it in the mail the 22nd if you’re worried it may disrupt the plans. I don’t think that she can file charges for kidnapping unless you are not planning on bringing the children back.

we have two sep agreements that are incorporated into our divorce. I know for a fact that the last one mentioned alternating holidays. I gotta see if the previous one mentioned them as well… The last agreement was signed this year, so I may be out of luck if she “decideds” to have them all to herself. Of course I plan to bring them back. Everything I have/own/want is here…


My husband ex had his children in 2004 for a couple of the holidays so when their final agreement went before the judge to be signed the holidays of 2004 & 2005 were listed. She has them so and so day on even numbered years and he has them those days odd numbered years. You may not be out of luck if it’s listed in a separation agreement, because either agreement would have stated the first date that you separated. It shouldn’t matter that the papers were signed this year, because you didn’t separate this year.
My husband’s ex took him back to court because their papers said he was to start child support in October 2005 but she didn’t sign the papers til the first of November. Luckily he did have canceled checks from paying her through Oct. and the check from paying the state Nov. Prior to these papers, they split everything and he was to give her $100/wk, she wasn’t paying him back for things he paid for so he started taking her 1/2 out of that $100. Because of this his weekly payments came up short by $41.55 which he had to pay immediately. The courts should go by the date you separated, what final agreement said, and who had the children last year.
Maybe an attorney will respond to this also for an official answer…

Dear avictim:

Greetings. If you have the kids, then you can take them for visits out of state. Just send him a letter including where you are going, how to contact you, etc. Send her the letter so it gets to her on the date immediately after you have the kids. Yes, any parent can have the kids and take them out of state for visits with family, unless an agreement or court order tells you otherwise. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

ok, thanks…

hi. i am the ncp, and i want to take my kids out of state for thanksgiving weekend, from NC to PA, so that they can meet their great grandmothers for the first, and probably last time since they are in their mid 80’s. My ex is a nutcase. If i tell her my plan, she will not let me have them, just to ruin my and my kid’s lives. I plan on telling her as soon as I get them and am like 20 miles away from her so she can’t snatch the kids from me. Is this legal? Our sep agreeement states that we must tell each other if we will have the kids at a place overnight other than the normal homes. Is going out of state another issue all together? Is it legal? She would probably threaten me with filing a charge against me for kidnapping or something like that… I wil lhave the kids out of state for like 4 days max…