The audacity of this one!

Also, what is the law about recording conversations? Do I need to let her know, or can I just do it without her being aware?

Dear c4_4ya:

Greetings. First, any money which she spent after the date of separation, was solely for a non-marital purpose and therefore, still on the spreadsheet for division. That means that you count it on the spreadsheet for what existed on the date of separation, but then you place it on her side when doing the divisions.

Now, the house and car are separate property, although the house and car may have some marital equity, but for the house it is probably limited. The marital equity would be equal to the amount of principal deduction on each debt.

You are entitled to half the value of her business, which a CPA could give you a value for. It may not be worth valuing, but you will need an attorney to help you determine that. This is a great negotiating point for you which you are not using apparently.

Tell her no cash, no car, and half of all marital debt (that means not the house or car debt, but any other debt created during the marriage - usually credit card debt).

I doubt her father can represent her, but let’s be realistic - of course he is going to give her advice. I would immediately go and get your car and leave hers. Just make sure you leave her stuff too which is in the car.

I would offer her nothing at this time, but to pay the debt. Don’t bend, and when in doubt, go hire an attorney. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Thank you greatly for the response - a couple more questions for you:

The $3500 she spent after the separation, she claims was her half of the tax refund, which I received 3 or 4 days after our separation date. Should it be counted as existing on the date of separation? I did file the tax return before the separation, and so she thinks that entitles her to half. Is this true?

As far as the house and car’s marital equity: the way I understand equity relating to a mortgage is this… Equity is built based on how much of the principal of the mortgage was paid (which everyone knows is almost negligible the first 10-15 years of a 30 year mortgage). She claims she gets half of the appreciation of the house in that 18 months- also, if she is correct, is this based on the tax assessment or something else?

Last one: how can I find out for sure if her father is eligible to represent her? Again, it’s her father and he represented me pro bono in unrelated matters- seems either of these 2 facts would exclude him from representing her.

Thanks again!

Dear c4_4ya:

Greetings. If you filed a joint return, then yes half of the refund was hers (regardless of who made the money, etc.).

She is not entitled to the passive losses or gains on your separate property - so no appreciation on your home. Only the principal reduction - which you can determine by getting a copy of the amortization schedule and adding up the principal payments over the months of your marriage.

No, I don’t believe he can represent her. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Hi,

My wife & I separated after only 18 months of marriage when she decided to cheat on me. Now she is trying to take ME to the cleaners. I have read NC GS 50-20, and don’t think there’s any way she can do what she wants to do, but I would like to go into negotiations armed. Here goes:

House and car were purchased (both financed), by me and only in my name, well before the marriage. She never worked during the marriage and started her own biz, which I personally paid for in entirety. After separation and before I could remove her from my accounts, she blew through about $3500 in a month. She admitted to a relationship, but still denies having intercourse, and therefore thinks it wasn’t adutery.

Here’s what she thinks she’s entitled to:

  • She wants all of her personal belongings, which I have tried endlessly to get her to come get from the house.
  • She also wants a few thousand in cash
  • The car (she valued around $6000), and in exchange I get her old beat-up car (maybe worth 1000).
  • She also wants half of all marital assets, which is the law- but how does the house which i purchased before the marriage factor into this??
  • She doesn’t think she’s responsible at all for the debts incurred during the marriage.

My questions:

  • Can her father (a lawyer) represent her in this matter, especially since he represented me on a few occasions to unrelated matters?
  • I want to take my car back and leave her car- anything legally stopping me?
  • How does her one-month 3500 dollar spending frenzy factor in?
  • We verbally made a separation agreement several months ago which she was supposed to put in writing and never did, now she’s coming back wanting more.
  • I calculated all marital assets (bank account totals at time of separation) debt incurred, halfed them, and it comes out to NEGATIVE $2500, without her $3500 spending spree which would bring it up to around $6000. I also included half the equity built up into the house during the 18 months, which wasn’t much since most of all payments went to interest. Am I off base here??
    I’m supposed to meet her today and work out an agreement, should be alot of fun with this one!

Thanks!