Trouble with Soon to be Ex


#1

Okay where to begin, my soon to be ex husband and I have been separated since October 1st. I am currently living in NC while he has moved back to NY when I asked him to leave. He was having an affair with another woman who he told that he was separated. At that time we weren’t (this was in August to September). Needless to say he came back home and I asked him to leave on September 23rd and he left on October 1st. There of course were other issues with him, drugs, lying, answering ad’s for the personals on craigs list, etc. I recently started talking to an ex-boyfriend and we are still very much in love and he will eventually move down to North Carolina. My ex found out that I am seeing someone and has now started harrassing me about everything. We have 2 children together and I do not want them to grow up without their father but he is making this very difficult for me. I have asked him to sign a Free Trader Agreement so that I can purchase a home for myself and the children and he has refused telling me to add in information to this. These are the things he is giving me a hard time on:

  1. He is stating that since he did not change his mailing information it still looks as if he is living at the home with me. It is my parents home that I currently reside in and they both know when he left the home. What would I need to do to prove that he moved out on the October 1st date?

  2. He is stating that he is currently not working, I know he is getting paid off of the books. I would like to file for child support, I realize that I will not get anything. Is there anyway that I can prove that he is actually getting money (I don’t believe so but I am just trying to get clarification)?

  3. If I have witness’ who saw the affair and are willing to go to court for me, take a lie detector test, etc. does he have any rights to alimony? I believe he is going to try and go for this even though he is able bodied and should be able to find a job anywhere.

Thank you so much for your time in this matter.


#2

You may testify, and have your parents testify to when he moved out. His lack of changing his address is certainly not conclusive proof on the issue of whether or not he has moved.
As for proving he is working you may have Child Support Enforcement get his bank records. You may also want to consider having a private investigator follow him to document that he is working.
If you can prove an affair, he is barred from seeking Alimony.