Uggestions to win custody when it seems we're gonn


#1

EDIT: I meant to type that we were given 50/50 by a judge after my ex wife’s lawyer (who is withdrawing from the case) failed to give my mother notice of hearing, and also did not alert the judge to the fact that my mother has had temporary custody for 3 1/2 years.

And she’s been denying me AND my ex-wife visits with our daughter, when I re-read it looks like I meant to say that I am denied visits but she gets to visit, but no neither one of us are allowed to visit.


#2

The best thing you can do in court is to explain to the court all the things that have changed since the order was originally entered. If you can convince the court that something substantial has changed since the last order was entered then you need to show all the evidence as to why it is now in the best interest of the child to spend more time with you. You should talk about the time you have spent with the child, changes in your lifestyle, efforts you have made to improve whatever situation it was that lead to your mother having custody, in addition you want to enter evidence of the things you will now be able to provide for the child.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#3

That’s the thing, we are still not completely sure why exactly my mother ended up being granted temporary custody 3 years ago, as she was a witness for me in court, not a party trying to gain custody. She was on my side. Now that she’s had my daughter for so long she wants to keep her all to herself and she wants my ex-wife and I to have supervised visitation for the rest of my daughter’s minor life, until she’s 18!

I don’t know what I could prove that has substantially changed because at the time, I had my own place, I was working, I may be far from rich but I put food on the table! And that still stands, I have a place, I am working, and both my landlord and boss are willing to provide me with notes for court, and I still put food on the table. One of my wife’s complaints in the original matter was that I am supposedly crazy, and she even had me committed to a mental hospital so that she could go get our things and leave for good with my daughter… I understand now why she did it, she was so sick of my mother’s interference and I understand she felt that was the only way. But now, although we are still versus parties in the court case, we have teamed up. I admit I had erratic mood swings, but the hospital sent me home after 2 days citing that nothing was wrong with me but the judge didn’t seem to care about that, nor did he seem to care about the fact that the social services investigation on my ex-wife had been closed out. He just listened to my mother’s false tears and whining and gave her temporary custody. I have never heard of anything like that before especially since she was not a party to the action at the time. Last year, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and have been treated and complying with my treatment and my psychologist is on board to come to court as a witness for me! He even met with my live-in-girlfriend/fiancee several times and our son AND my ex-wife and her son. He said that we are obviously taking care of the children we have and that we are all mentally well and that that there is no reason in the world for a judge to keep our 5 year old from us. So as far as substantial change, that’s the only thing I can think of.

There is the matter of my mother claiming that my ex-wife and I have acted in manners that violate our constitutionally protected status, such as the untrue ‘fact’ that we have visited her sporadically, with months going by at a time, and have shown only an intermittent passing interest in our daughter and her activities and welfare, all which is LIES. If I had no interest in my daughter I would not have talked to my ex lawyer repeatedly about taking this matter back to court, but he would deny me because he said my mother said it wasn’t the right time! and my mother would tell me I was not ready and she was telling my lawyer not to take it back to court. If I had no interest, I wouldn’t have wanted it to go back to court!

We have been denied visitation when my mother felt fit to exercise this utter control she thinks she has, or whenever she would get mad at me, because I’m her son and of course I make her angry often, especially when I don’t do what she says, and when my son with my fiancee was born, my mother thought she was going to have control over my son’s life as well since she holds my daughter over my head, but my girlfriend is not one to be walked over… just like my ex wife wasn’t one to be walked over when my mother tried to control our daughte’rs life… and as a result of not being allowed to control my son’s life, my mother cut me out of my daughter’s life completely! She is angry that I am able to be around my son more, like I can help that I have more access to my son since HE LIVES WITH ME! I can’t help that my daughter lives with her and that I am denied visitation everytime she gets p*ssed off! She even expected me to choose BETWEEN MY TWO CHILDREN!

So ma’am, in closing, how is it possible for us to prove a substantial change when some of the areas include our interest in our daughter and frequency of visitation, and my mother is lying about it? And in her intervenor complaint papers she states that neither I or my ex-wife can financially or physically care for the ‘minor child’ when I have a nearly 7 month old and my ex-wife has a 1 year old and a baby on the way. Wouldn’t this prove something to a judge, that we are in fact capable of raising and supporting our children? Wouldn’t it show to a judge that the 3rd party intervenor wants only to keep the minor child all to herself? If we were not able to financially or physically care for our children, then why is it that my 6 month old, and my ex-wife’s 1 year old are perfectly fine? She also claimed in her intervenor papers that social services investigated both me and my ex-wife for abuse and neglect and neglect was found. That’s odd because for one, the social services case was closed out, doesn’t that mean anything? And when my mother would call social services, she called them on my ex wife, not me. And social services would leave my daughter in MY care and made my then-wife leave the home. Isn’t a judge going to consider that if we are not able to take care of children, then why are the other children fine? And everyone keeps saying to me, a judge will consider the fact that it’s in the best interest of a child to grow up with her siblings, and in my mother’s ideal world that won’t be happening, will a judge consider doing such a thing to a child? Anybody have any advice??

Oh man, how do I register a user name?


#4

You should start by reading the previous court order. The first court order should set out all the concerns the court had and the reason’s why your mother was granted custody. Find out what concerns the court had when the order was entered and present evidence about how those things have changed.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#5

Does anybody have any suggestions at all? My ex wife and I were planning on taking this back to court to gain custody of our daughter from my mom, who has had temporary custody for over 3 years and has done evertyhing in her power to keep it from going back to court. When a judge awarded us 50/50 custody without giving my mother notice, the judge rescinded it and my daughter was once again taken from us.

So we’ve been trying to take it back to court after the judge’s rescindment which was in July. Now no lawyer wants to even attempt the case because they are so sure my mother is going to win, after my ex wife’s lawyer’s screw up.

Now, we just found out that my mother has entered in a motion to intervene to gain full custody, with a legalaid lawyer, claiming that we havent’ wanted her in the past 3 years and that we hardly visit her, which is absolute lies, I have tried a million times to have it taken back to court and my ex lawyer would not do it because my mother said not to. And she has been denying me visits, and my ex wife visits, especially now that we have other children (with different people.)

It seems as though we are going to lose because we don’t have proof that she is lying. The judges here are biased and we have no lawyer at all to represent either one of us now.

How could we possibly beat my mother in court? Anybody at all have ANY suggestions? I’m beyond hopeless at this point. Thanks.