Visitation while Seperated

If you have not decided custody or it has not been decided in court then legally you both have equal access to the children. Except in a case where there is domestic violence…but even then she can not keep the children away from you.

My first suggestion is to make sure to keep records of what you are paying her in child support. Second, consult an attorney and get a separation agreement drawn up. Last, make sure to record some of these conversations somehow. Send her a letter or e-mail requesting information about the school and visitations. Let her know what days you will be picking the children up and be there. Record all attempts and refusals.
I’ve said this many times, but just because you lost your spouse does not meant that a child has to lose that parent. The parents are the ones that decide. If they want visitation they should be given every opportunity to do that and the other parent has no business trying to interfere with that. If they don’t want it then you can not force them to take it. Please consult an attorney.

If there is no custody order or agreement in place then either one of you has the right to have the children at any time. If you find yourselves unable to agree you may want to file a lawsuit and see if you can resolve it through court ordered mediation. You can also see if you can find a mediator who is willing to work with both of you without attorney’s to see if you can work out a schedule that works for both or you.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

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Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
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My wife doesnt’ seem to be willing to let me see my children (ages 5 and 2) as often as I would like. She says she doesn’t want to be bothered with me on a dialy basis. I want to see them as much as possible and she usually works on the weekends. Currently I have them overnights every other weekend and when she works I told her that I want to see them. Over the past month she has missed 5 days during the week that I was suppose to see them (did not even show up and we set up days via email before the first of every month so she knew about it). Now because I told her that I wanted to know what was going on with the children (when the 5 year old starts school who is the teach what is going on; when she has to use babysitters I want to know who it is how I can reach them, etc). Now she is saying that she won’t let me have them when she works and it is on her weekends. My question is does she have this right? We don’t have any legal papers signed on seperation, custody, visitation, child support which I am paying. She did file a domestic violence order when she told me to get out of the house and I said I would never leave the girls. She said that she would but filed the papers when she had second thoughts. Do I have any rights to see my girls without legal papers? Any suggestions?