What to do now?

stepson is 13. My husband has primary custody since February. Mom exercises her visitation the weekends and alternating holidays. Since June, his mother and her current husband have separated. Mom supposingly has moved away from marital residence and stay most of the time with her current boyfriend. The problems is that when my stepson goes for visitation with his mother…he don’t know where he will be at stepdad’s (the home he has been in for the last 4 years or with her where ever she may be staying the night. The 3 br home is in really bad shape from his 18 year old autistic brother destroying walls and ceiling. He don’t have a place to sleep. Recently on this past weekends visit…brothers room has no ceiling and holes in wall, his bedroom (mom stayed in) she spent this weekend at marital home. master bedroom must be in bad shape – could not sleep in and stepdad sleep in some kind of chair. He didn’t have a place to sleep. He don’t know what he will be facing when he goes for visitation. My questions are 1) Can DSS or CPS get involed due to condition of home 2) can he chose not to visit mom with out mom filing for a show cause against us or 3) File for some kind of modification of custody. We are at loss of what to do…it seems like his situation goes from bad to worse all the time. He is developing anger issues when he goes for the weekend with her due to her spending so much time with the boyfriend and not him. We don’t have problems him currently but I am afraid with this going on all the time it may affect him emotionally.

If you believe the child is not being cared for properly DSS should be notified, and I do not believe your husband would be held in contempt for not forcing the child to go to a n unsuitable home, though I can never say for sure what any one judge will do. I would suggest that your husband file a motion to modify custody as well.

would the modification be for sole custody? He has primary joint legal and physical custody of him now and mom has secondary. We have a clause in our current order that law enforcement can help enforce the order - if he don’t go to her for visitation – how would we explain to them about the unsuitable home - would we need to get dss involved first to note the condition of the marital home? if she called law enforcement to help enforce the visitation. Thanks again for your advice.

The modification would seek to prevent her placing the child in an unsafe environment, and if that means that the father should have full custody, then yes.

You need to contact DSS so that an investigation is underway. The police will not force you to send the child to her if she is being evaluated by DSS.