I agree w/ all that you’ve said. So far we haven’t had any problems w/ my stepson but it is obvious he realizes things are different at dad’s house than mom’s and actually seems to adjust well.
We lost out on the older child as she decided to follow the “path of least resistance” and live w/ mom who had fewer rules and restrictions but maybe in time we will see and talk to her again.
how is your stepson doing?
He seems to be doing better every day. He had another therapy appointment yesterday and has one every week for this month. I think it’s making a difference. I believe that the biggest issue right now is that he wants to put some distance between himself and his brother. They share a room/bed at his mother’s and he seems to not want to go over when they both are supposed to be there. He’ll be 13 this year while his brother will be 10, but he’s a lot older than his years. He’s started going to bed earlier…we think he’s getting ready to start growing alot…he’s eating more and just wants to be by himself a little more. I think sharing a room and bed with his little brother bothers him more than he wants to admit. We’ve explained that he needs to talk to us because everything he’s going through is normal…we’ve all gone through it.
I think it’s just going to take some time to adjust. His mother is hopefully going to get some help for her issues so that may help all around. I believe that his issue with her was the same issue my husband had while they were married…he has a legitimate issue but she doesn’t want to hear about it. Nothing is her fault and she is never wrong, and if you are upset, sad or angry…well, just deal with it and don’t talk about it. Other than her working 3rd shift so that all the time they were there she was alseep, I think his decision was based more on his emotional needs and the desire to be just like his father [;)]
I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and I’ll keep you in mine as well.
No, I am not an attorney. I got interested in family law though when I started dating my husband. His wife had left him almost 2 months prior so I ended up going through the whole separation, divorce, custody thing with him. As someone looking at the situation from the outside it was a little easier for me to research since my emotions weren’t tied as closely to the outcome. I still keep a daily journal of events, where the children spend the night and when purchases are made and how much.
I have thought of going back to school for Legal Aid in Family Law but haven’t made that decision yet.
I try, when replying to these post, to keep the best interest of the children in mind, if children are involved. Or to at least make sure to point out that some battles just do not have to be fought…
For some reason custody becomes a contest between parents of who loves the children more and who can give them more. Most parents can not see past their own hurt, humiliation and jealousy to see that though you may have lost a husband or wife, does not mean they should lose their mother or father. Children love both parents and do not understand this. They learn to disrespect one parent because they hear the other parent do it. They can learn very quickly how to play their parents against each other…I’ve seen it happen with my own stepsons. He’s beginning to figure out, now that his parents discuss things, that he’s the one who loses in that game.
I feel badly for most of the people posting because like so many of you, I too am someone’s ex and have a terrible ex of my own. Most of the things posted about are not going to matter in a year or two but it’s difficult to see that at the time…
I may not agree with what someone is posting but that is no reason to belittle their feelings. Everyone on here is looking for input to their own situation and support from those of us who have been or are going through similar situations.