8 yrs post-divorce or Things do improve over time


#1

I guess I started writing on this forum about 5 or 6 years ago when things were really bad w/ my husband’s ex. The forum helped us through various child support and custody issues. Thanks to all of you and of course the lawyers for your feedback, comments and advice. As I was the stepmom w/o kids I guess I probably had the sharpest learning curve. Some of the things I’ve learned:
-There is not much you can do or say about what goes on in the other home so just don’t worry about it. Just focus on your home and your life with those children or that child.
-Don’t bad mouth the ex/other parent to the child(ren)
-Don’t argue in person or on e-mail w/ the other parent - let your spouse do that.
-Don’t sweat the small stuff - look at the big picture and what is best for the child.
-Stand your ground and don’t be a pushover.
-Document, document, document so if you have to go back to court you are prepared.
-Recognize that the kids are in a much tougher position than you because no matter how much you dislike the ex or what an awful person they are…to that child they are still mom/dad and they love them and many times they are torn mentally and emotionally between the parents.


#2

Thanks for participating on the forum and for providing this great advice.

It’s tough, when you’re in the middle of things, to know that it’s all going to work out in the end.

I appreciate you taking the time to provide some perspective for folks that are currently caught up in the emotional turmoil.

Thank you.

Lee


#3

mal - what can I say…you and I seem to have been posting for about the same amount of time and from similar situations.
Thank you for putting this on the forum.
After an rather difficult weekend with one of the stepsons, this is exactly what I need to “hear”.
To any others…hang in there. There will always be those days when you question your sanity or how you got into this to start with, but I know that there are far more days that you appreciate your family situation, whatever it may be.