All you can really “do” is document then vs. now conditions. If/when you go to court, you’d try to show that these salutary changes are likely only temporary in nature and were only made in preparation for trial. Hopefully the judge will see the other side’s maneuvering for the sham that it is.
thanks Wake Dad. We have been keeping e-mails and making notes for some time now. Hopefully this will count for something if we need to use them.
It’s never too late to improve parenting skills but the court will take into consideration the “track” record of incidents and decisions made up to that date. Most parents, if they are worth their salt, will try to “straighten up” if they think they are going to lose their children.
My husband’s ex only quit leaving the children with a relative to go bar hopping on her nights with them when she was surved with a subpeona. We had loads of documentation and she knew it. She was the “model” mother when we went to court, but you could definitely see the change come over her face when the attorney started reading off dates and incidents that had taken place over the last year. Some that involved the children. She was extremely angry that we had some of that information and accused us of slandering her.
yes, I think it is sad that it takes something like this to make a difference and we really hate the idea (for the kids sake) of having to go to court but we suspect that mediation is not going to work.
mal, trust your gut instinct on the likelihood of success of mediation or reaching out-of-court (or court-approved) settlement. Don’t waste your time negotiating when you have little or no common ground. Some things just can’t be settled, and you need to have a judge decide.
our lawyer has gone ahead and scheduled a court date since prior experience with the ex has taught him(and therefore us) that mediation will probably go no where.
My husband was told they could not go to court for custody hearing until mediation was done…
yes, but you can schedule the hearing so you are on the docket even before you have mediation. That’s what our lawyer did.
Dear mal:
Greetings. What do you mean? You want the behavior to change don’t you? So you want the behavior to change, it does, and you think you are automatically going to lose? What will happen when the lawsuit ends? Thhey will likely go back to the old behavior - so that is what you point out in court.
Be glad the behavior is changing now and promote the good behavior. Changing the situation is better, usually, then paying more attorney fee, no?
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Janet, yes, you are right and that’s what has us shaking our heads about this. Many of the things we asked, and begged her to do she refused to - until she got this order.
Dear mal:
Greetings. Let me know if you still ahve questions, as I don’t understand. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Janet, Sorry, I guess my question was how she we document this and how can we show successfully that her behavior has changed suddenly? We have e-mails and can consult our calendars from the past several months but we haven’t been writing down every incident and don’t tape phone calls. We are scheduled for mediation but prepared for a court case.
Dear mal:
It sounds like you have already documented it and you just need to show the changes and argue that they will be temporary. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
We have issued a complaint for custody(to change it and increase ours) based on a variety of issues and suddenly and miraculously many of the things on our complaint have changed or been fixed. My husband has not yet been to mediation with his ex. We suspect that this is just a temporary effort on her part to look better before mediation and in anticipation of a court case. What can we do?