When does "forgiveness" occur after an Affair?

There is not a clear cut answer, but given these facts I don’t’ think the judge will find that you condoned the relationship.

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Helena M. Nevicosi
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I am sorry you are gong through this. I will agree with Helena. My advice is get a separation agreement (if you can). Get custody of your kids. Get child support.

My wife is leaving me. She wants alimony. We have 3 kids, the oldest is 11.

My wife had an affair which ended last September. I have all the evidence I need to prove adultery through opportunity and intent (emails, PI photos, etc). This normally would prevent alimony.

From September through January I was trying to protect myself and we ended up with attorneys and talking about separation. I abandoned that effort, and we were strictly in marriage counseling from January through now.

We have been living in separate rooms in the house. We have had no sex or intimacy. She is now leaving me. I want to continue reconciliation but she refuses.

If she sues me for alimony or PSS, can I still use the adultery as grounds for denying it? Or, have I “forgiven” her by trying to go through reconciliation? Also, she has over $100K of inheritance in her name alone, and she has a professional masters degree. She has been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years.

Thanks for your insight.