When to let your spouse know you want a divorce

I have considered over the past year or so the prospect of divorcing my wife. We have tried counseling and talking it out amongst ourselves, and I have come to the realization that my marriage is not salvageable. I want to tell my wife this ASAP because I feel it is only fair to her to know how I feel and so we don’t spend anymore time and money on marriage counselors. My concern is this: we have been married four years and the condo we live in is in her and her mother’s name from when she bought it about a year before meeting me. If I tell her tomorrow that I want a divorce, what are my rights to continue to live there until I find a new home. We have paid the mortgage each month out of our joint checking account. Is there any way possible that she could legally have me put out of the house immediately. I understand that I could tell her once I find a new home, but this could take a little time and I really do not want to be dishonest with her regarding my feelings about the marriage. Can two people remain under the same roof knowing they are going to eventually divorce? And if my wife is so upset when I tell her how I feel, can she just sending me packing?

She will not be able to legally evict you from the house. Although your name is not on the deed, you have lived there as a married couple for four years and you have contributed financially to the mortgage and presumably the upkeep as well. Most likely you will be the party that will need to move out eventually, which will start the required one year separation for you before you can get a divorce. You should still ask her for a separation agreement which will entitle you to some money from the house assuming that there is equity involved. You do have a marital interest in the home.