Where to begin?

I may take action to consult with an attny next week, but wanted some premliminary info if I could, please.

I am a stay-at-home mom (work PT on weekends however). My children are ages 1 and 3. My husband had a child (age 13) from his first marriage.

First of all, does his “First family” come first in the “eyes” of this state? By this, I mean, will the son be more apt to get more child support, benefits, etc.?

Secondly, would I be able to get alimony in addition to child support?

Third, if he won’t leave the home, how in the heck do we legally separate? I am not uprooting/abandoning. I don’t have any family anywhere, so I’m pretty much stuck where I am (this town) and I don’t think moving my children into another abode would be wise (not to mention I could not afford a home of my own right now).

Lastly, during out marriage, I spent ALL of my retirement (rolled over my 401k into an IRA) and used that to help pay the bills. This included his child support (about $400 per month). Can I ever get this back?

Thanks for any response you can provide.