Wife int'd legal sep 06Nov08, now won't file

correction: she initiated 06Nov07

ET1/SS Oxley, Thomas F., USN

First, I’d like to say that I’m sorry that this is your situation.

  1. You can not force her to (pay) file for divorce, but keep in mind that since she has not filed for divorce, you are still legally married.
  2. I believe that you can file where ever you reside but since you are stationed on a sub, I suggest filing in NC that holds the agreement. The agreement would not have been filed with the courts though so you may have the option of filing elsewhere.
  3. There is no time limit on a separation agreement, however, since it’s in the agreement about the percentage of equity in the home and the re-enlistment bonus then I suggest you can always have this renegotiated since she was to file for absolute divorce, if it was in the agreement that she would be filing…I’m not certain because normally the agreement would be binding, but if it’s mentioned that the only reason it was signed was with the understanding that she would be filing for absolute divorce…well this may be the push that gets her to file. If there was an attempt to reconcile, then I suggest having an attorney look over the agreement and let them know the situation. You may have some leverage.
    Some of the others may have some suggestions.
    Good luck to you and keep us posted!

Did she file for divorce in November of '07 or did you seperate then? The year issue is how long you have to be living seperate from each other before you can file. If more than a year passes and you don’t file, you’re still married. Since there is no such thing as “legal seperation” in NC, I would assume your seperation agreement is still valid as long as you stay seperated, prior to divorce.

While I know paying for it yourself will be a pain, it would probably be well worth it to be rid of her. Good luck!

If the agreement you signed was a legally binding separation agreement, then it remains in effect after the divorce is granted.

If the divorce has already been filed in this state you can move it forward without filing a new complaint, however, if you are stationed out of the state and cannot come here for the court date, you will need to hire an attorney to complete it on your behalf.

There is no way to force her to continue with the divorce.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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My ex-wife (maybe) filed for divorce in NC while I was on orders in CT. I agreed to $150 over the stated required childsupport, 25% of the house as opposed to 50%, half of my $15k re-enlistment bonus. She is now refusing to finalize the divorce through her laywer (I wasn’t fighting it, and did not obtain my own, as she said she wanted to attempt reconcile if we could, later admitted that she never planned to.). She is now seriously involved with someone, has sold our house, and refuses to pay to finalize the divorce. Keep in mind she made no claim of abuse, neglect or fault on my part. 3 questions: 1.)Is there anyway I can make her pay, since she initiated? 2.) If I can’t force her to pay, do I have to file in NC since we currently have a binding separation agreement in NC? 3.)Is there a time limit on the agreement? Am I still bound after the year has passed? Lot’s of questions here, but I am stationed on a submarine with high operational tempo, so finding legal advice is more than difficult. Any assistance would be much appreciated.

ET1/SS Oxley, Thomas F., USN