Yes, I am the other woman


#1

I am aware of the Alienation of Affection law in NC. I understand that if any of the affair happened in NC, then it would qualify for this action. Here’s the situation- we’ve been together 7 years, had a son together 5 years ago. I never asked for child support, never asked him to leave. I also realize that not turning him away is just as good as asking him to leave. I have no money, still raising our son alone. She found out several weeks ago. She’s bent on pursuing me and has started harrassing me by making silent phone calls from other phones in their area. I have changed my cell phone number twice in three weeks and now am receiving calls at work. She never leaves a message. Three questions here:
Is there anything I can do about the harrassment?
Can she really pursue Alienation of Affection given that I rent, own an old car, and have no money? What’s the point?
Will he be expected to stop seeing us until the divorce is final or is our relationship considered water under the bridge under the current circumstances?

I went through a terrible break up of my own marriage many years ago where my X was abusive. Suddenly I feel like I am fearing for my life again. Help me understand what she can and can’t do and what I can and can’t do.

Thanks so very much for this helpful site.
NCMama


#2

I suggest you contact your local police department’s non emergency number to file a harassment claim to document the phone calls.
This woman may file a claim against you despite the fact that you may be judgment proof. The continued relationship can be used as evidence to corroborate the existence of a relationship that began during the marriage (and thus destroying the affection therein).


#3

If it will ease your mind at all when I questioned my attorney about suing the “other woman” for alienation of affection she told me that they are very difficult cases and that she personally wouldnt touch the case with out a ten thousand dollar deposit.
In my case I have more than enough “proof” of the affair…emails between them, text messages on his phone, reciepts from a vacation they took together, his own admittal via a taped phone conversation, etc…My attorney says that alienation of affection suits are simply very difficult.
While I do not condone your actions I do feel your dismay at being caught up in the legal mess that is divorce and wish you the best.


#4

Other woman:

You do not have much to worry about. If you were a movie star or independently wealthy, you might have cause for alarm, but since you basically have nothing, there is no need to pursue a suit against you. I seriously doubt the “wife” in this case has enough money to bring charges against you and bringing a suit against you is not worth it if there is no monetary gain. I do not condone what you have done. Not at all. I have experienced the anguish of facing the fact that my ex-husband had an affair. He was savvy enough to know his adultery would make no difference and that there was nothing I could do. I advise you to get on with your life. This man, who cheated on his wife with you, will do the same to you. Do not count on anything from this man. Fortunately, for you, adultery is not a big deal any longer. It simply hurts the innocent and no one cares and no one pays…monetarily that is. Emotional payment from everyone involved except the perpetrator is more than enough.