Here are the facts in this case. I am wondering if a judge would award additional spousal support as my stbx keeps threatening. He says that when we went to mediation, he was hopeful that we’d reconcile and agreed to lesser alimony to be nice. He never signed the agreement and now is saying that he has realized it is over and that I should be paying “big time”, and that everyone he talks to agrees. I am struggling to make ends meet as it is, and this has me greatly worried.
- He has been out of work for 3 years. He was not looking for work at all until this past year (we fought extensively about this during the marriage). Until the last few months, he was only looking in his specialized field from before. Now he says he is looking for anything and everything. (no way to verify)
- As such, I’ve been the supporting spouse during the marriage. Even when he was working, I made more than him.
- To make ends meet during the marriage while he’s been out of work, we had been relying on $3000 from joint savings each month. The joint savings is now all gone.
- I have a very long journal over the course of the marriage about his emotional abuse
- I had an emotional affair for 5 years with someone else while we were married and he found out through phone records.
- He wrote me a LONG letter forgiving me and wanted very much to get back together. We went to counseling and even had relations but it did not work and he moved out 3 months later at my urging.
- We’ve been separated now for 6.5 months.
- He pays no child support although the children are with me for 22 nights per month (because he has no job)
- We do not yet have an agreement signed yet, however the mediated agreement was that I’d pay $1800 per month for 6 months and then $600 per month for an additional 12 months (18 months total support) or until he got a job.
- I (foolishly) paid 5 months of the $1800 per month already = $9000. I am no longer paying him bc it is too much of a financial risk without an agreement in place.
- In addition, I pay his medical/dental/vision insurance premium with $221 from my paycheck monthly and his car insurance
- I’ve analyzed my budget extensively in an attempt to figure this out. Mortgage, childcare and recurring bills like power, water, etc are 70% of my monthly income (without paying spousal support). 28% then goes to food, household supplies, children’s activities, medical/dental fees, fuel, school activities, kids sports fees, clothing, personal care, quarterly exterminator, annual vehicle tax, etc. After all this I only have $134 left to cover any misc expenses not accounted for in the prior list.
Given all of the above, would a judge force me to pay him? Would they at least impute an income to him since he has been out of work for so long? What factors do they consider when awarding support that I should be prepared for?
What are your thoughts?