Adultry and Cohabitation


After try to corroborate my step daughter’s story I found a number of inconsistencies. I now believe that my man living with my wife is not her boyfriend and she is not having a romantic relationship with this man

I called my wife and she denied having a sexual relationship with this man. Still I told her the fact that she is living with a man creates a bad appearance.

At this point I will continue post separation support

Did I over react?


Dear pf99:

Greetings. First, you are not paying “alimony” to her if you do not have an agreement. If you are not paying pursuant to an agreement, you cannot count it as a tax deduction and she does not have to count it as income…it is simply a gift from you. Nice of you, no?

Now, I agree with you not to sign an agreement without a waiver of alimony. Nevertheless, she is no longer entitled to alimony in North Carolina anyway. Now, if you are in other states, you may want to research their laws. If neither of you live in NC anymore, it will not matter what NC law is, only the state one of you live in and sign the agreement in. If you are not in NC (which you say you are not), then check the law in your state before you do anything else!

Finally, cohabitation does not mean that you have to have sex. Cohabitation is just living with a member of the opposite sex. Do not send one more cent prior to speaking with an attorney in your area and having a signed agreement with your wife. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


My wife has moved to FL. I moved to TN. We lived in NC for Five years prior.

We negotiated a separation agreement (through mediation) but have not yet signed it. I agreed to pay her alimony. I send her money each month, as she is a dependent spouse.

I called her in FL on day and a strange man answered the phone. Wife said it was her handyman. Wife said he was having a “rough time” and she is letting him stay there. Wife said they are just friends. Okay…

Wife returns to NC (prior to my move to TN) to avoid hurricanes. This man calls her at all hours of the day and night.

I had a feeling that something was going on but had no proof. Wife returns to FL.

I then talked to my wife’s eldest daughter. She is 28 yrs old. She told we my wife confessed to her that this man is my wife’s new “live in” boyfriend (legally we are stilled married) and that she has had a number of sexual relations with this man.

I was emotionally devastated.

I will not send her any more money and will not sign any separation agreement that gives her alimony as I do not want to subsidize her relation with this man.

Am I on sound legal grounds? Looking at Other factors effecting alimony, she has also violated many of those.

She was not a good wife (did not contribute much to the marriage) as she spent most of her time in a separate bedroom watching TV or by the computer. Her 28-year-old daughter would be willing to testify to that and other things she did or did not do in the marriage.