I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you are at a point where you really need to take action.
As far as the email is concerned, I must tell you that going into your spouses email account without their permission may be a violation of federal law. So, don’t do it. As far as what you can do with the information you found, depending on how you found it, it may be used to show that he was committing marital fault. You may want to invest in a private investigator to find out more information.
Until you and your husband have entered into a custody agreement or there has been a court order defining custody, you and he have equal custody of your child. It would not be kidnapping if you took your child out of state. However, you should expect that he would sue you, here in NC, for custody of your child. So, you would have to come back here to defend that action. The best thing for you to do is to try to enter into an agreement that allows you and your child to move out of state.
Given your situation, I doubt abandonment would be an issue. Especially once you let him know that you are aware of his relationship with this other woman.
Talk to an attorney in your area, and get the specifics on how to handle your case.
Shonnese D. Stanback
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.256.1534 direct voice
919.256.1667 direct fax
919.787.6668 main voice
919.787.6361 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.