Alienation of Affection/Alimony/401K

In 2005 I had a brief affair with a co-worker which my spouse was not aware of until recently. Several years later we decide to move to North Carolina to start a new chapter in our lives and enjoy warmer climates. Shortly after we moved to NC, I found out my spouse was having an affair with someone who had also moved to NC from the same city we previously lived in. Over a period of several years I tried in vain to get my spouse to end the relationship and each time was told it would end, however they just managed to hide their extramarital activities better. My spouse refused to get a job but was taking cash from the ATM like it was water and charging gas and other items to my charge card that were used for ‘their’ dates. Meanwhile, rather than helping around the home or completing projects here, all his spare time was spent with his girlfriend, who was also married but left her spouse. I hired a PI to get evidence of the affair. It didn’t take long to get them on video and to find out they were having sexual relations in my house and in my bed. I have been reading your forum and the information regarding the alienation of affection lawsuit. In the meantime my spouse discovered my past indiscretions in the other state. How will this brief past affair impact my case? How do I prevent further degradation of finances when my spouse refuses to provide any income toward the family? What is the best course of action to resolve this issue and move on.

The facts seem to indicate that after you moved to NC you resumed a happy life together, until this other woman moved down and destroyed the affection in your marriage.

I suggest that you divert your earnings into a separate account and limit what he is able spend given the reckless nature of his spending thus far.

His affair may be a bar to alimony depending on how a judge views your past affair.

I suggest you meet with a lawyer in the near future to create action plan in the near future.