Alienation of affection

My husband of 43 years has filed for divorce in Pa., where I currently reside and where he lived until 2 years ago when he moved to Raleigh. He had an on again off again affair during the last 3 years he lived here. He moved out 3 times and moved back home each time and was living at home at the time of his job change and move. I took several trips there with him exploring real estate options, but because of the affair and the breakdown I had after finding out about it, I could not convince myself that going with him and leaving my children and grandchildren was the right option for me at that time. There was no mention of divorce until August of 2009. In April of last year I was served divorce papers and found out the same day that he had resumed his affair and she had moved in with him. I am wondering if I have any chance of suing her in North Carolina for alienation of affection. What grounds do I need? What type of proof? Several people here told me they had told her to stay away from him because he was still very married and he himself told me she called him first. Everytime he moved home she continued to contact him. I was a stay at home mom our entire marriage and at 62 really have no job skills to enhance what he will be forced to pay me. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated!

To sustain an action for alienation of affection you must show that love and affection existed between you and your spouse, and that actions of the 3rd party alienated that love and affection. Additionally, you would have to show the alienation occurred in NC.

Is his residing there enough proof it happened there? She was driving down to see him often. When he came here he always stayed in our home or with our daughter and grandchildren. He was distant but I was blindsided once again. How can I prove that when it is a feeling that obviously he didn’t share, but never bothered to say so.

If he never had love and affection for you then you don’t have an action for alienation of affection.

I didn’t say he NEVER had love and affection for me. After 43 years there are problems on both sides. What I am saying is that she made it very easy for him to not address those issues. He himself told me she made things easy for him. He doesn’t have to try to be a better person with her. At this point they can have each other, but I would like to be able to have some of what I had expected to be able to live on for the rest of my life and divorce laws will not get me that. I worked part-time jobs throughout our marriage while he obtained 3 college degrees and pursued his career unhindered by responsibilities for home or child care. My children have asked if they can sue her for alienating their father from them.

I do not think your children can sue however you can. Be aware that these tortes are VERY expensive to pursue, can be difficult to prove and often the payouts do not even begin to cover your attorneys fees. The media sensationalizes these cases and on occasion you do hear of large figure payoffs however that is not the norm. Unless the paramour is some kind of millionaire it’s unlikely you would get a large settlement. Not to mention getting a settlement and actually getting someone to pay it are two different stories.