My daughter has been a victim of domestic abuse, both physical and mental for the past eight months. Her husband has had delusions of jealousy for that period of time. During that time he uses their two children against her and has turned them against her so that now they believe his accusations. Last week after being abused, she called my other daughter for help and sought help to leave their home since he was physically preventing her from doing so. The children would not go with her because of their beliefs, so they remained at home. He is saying that this is abandonment on her part but I disagree. The children desperately need counseling but I do not fear for their physical safety.
His behavior has been one of being unreasonable and mercurial. After visiting my daughter’s work place, I have been told that my son in law sits hiding in his car waiting and watching for signs of her infidelity. Isn’t this behavior considered stalking? He has no proof of any infidelity on my daughter’s part but yet cannot except her word. He has been told that he suffers from bipolar disorder but refuses to take any medication. Last week while I was there, he used the children to call her and then pass the phone over to him. There must have been 10 calls during the course of an hour. She takes the calls for fear of not alienating the children any further.
My daughter has seen an attorney who is preparing a draft of a separation agreement for my son in law to review. My wife and I are at our wits end not knowing how to help her or counsel her. She does not want to get a restraining order for fear of angering him before he signs the separation agreement.
Does waiting for a no contact or restraining order until a separation agreement is signed the correct course of action? I would appreciate any recommendations, and how can his harassment of her be stopped?