Attorney! Please, please answer!

Firstly, I think it’s unwise to not attend any court hearing because one believes “it is no use” – without at least showing up and being heard, you lose substantial opportuity for redress of the situation. Specifically, the belief that one judge is acting unfairly will only be reinforced by you not showing up!

I’m not a lawyer and I don’t know what’s in your Order, but I would simply assert your custodial rights – your son is with you “every other week”. It’s not up to your son whether or not to attend a camp; that decision is yours for those two weeks. If you believe the judge ordered this, then demand to see the updated order. And for goodness sake, show up next time.

Good luck.

I’m Not Attacking You but if you don’t show up in court you are saying to the Judge you don’t care, for all you know the court probably change the order and gave him primary custody, just like I said before you are only hurting yourself when you do things like that, now you complaining about what the ex has done again but he can only do what you allow him to do and when you don’t show up in court you lose, you are painting a bad picture of yourself for the court.

I may be mistaken, but your son is 17? If that is the case, this is probably one of the last summers he’ll have the ability to be “free” from responsibilities. IE: career, job, the real world. I understand your furstration with your ex, but look at it as an oppritunity for your son to have this experience and you only have to pay for half of it. My son is going to camp also, although his is only for a week. I am having to pay for ALL of it because my ex hasn’t paid child support consistantly since we seperated in 2003. I have covered 100% of all camps, child care, birthday parties, clothes, not to mention I do all the laundry fo him. (his father sends back the dirty clothes for me to wash) Does this create a financial strain? Of course it does, I have cut back on extras for myself in order to do what I need to for him. That is a choice I as a parent made. Do I worry about what my ex has/doesn’t have? Sure, every now and then when I have my little pity party, but it honestly doesn’t concern me. I divorced him, that chapter in my life is over. If I’d wanted to keep up with his business, I’d have stayed married to him. I have learned I can’t do anything to control what ex does, I can only make choices for myself. And you can’t be in more dire financial straits than I have been in these last few years. Remember this is your kid’s only childhood. If you feel your legal resonsibilities are overwhelming, then you need to revisit child support. Try letting the office at handle it. In my experience they have been fair. It hasn’t helped me get money because he doesn’t have a job. But it looks like your ex is gainfully emolpyed soy ou have that option.

This probably happened because you did not show up for your court hearing. At that hearing your ex probably asked the court to order that your son be allowed to attend the camp and that you pay half this expense. Because you did not show up at the hearing, the judge did not have a choice. In the future you need to make sure you show up for all scheduled hearing. At this point it is probably too late the challenge this order.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I have joint legal custody of my son with neither parent named as primary custodian. Custodial time is every other week. My ex has signed my son up for a month long summer camp without my agreement which takes away two weeks of my custodial time. The Order stipulates that I must pay 50% of all extracurricular activities including “camps”. My income is less than 1/3 of the ex’s income. My son informed me today that the only way he would NOT attend this summer camp is if he did not want to go. He said his father told him this as a result of a hearing held concerning another issue on May 14 of which I did not attend as it is no use for me to go to Court with this judge presiding. What I am asking is HOW can this judge negate his own orders which allows me alternating weeks of custody and order me to allow my son to attend this camp? What can I do? At a hearing last May this same judge stated that my ex is not, should not be allowed to take my custodial time without my permission. I have the transcript! But now, it appears that the judge is saying I must relinquish my time and pay for it too. I just do not understand how this can possibly be??? Thanks!