Baby Sitter of Choice?


#1

My ex wife and I are currently seperated, going through divorce. Due to her abnormal work schedule, we have an odd custody schedule that revolves around her work due to somthing she calls “baby sitter of choice”. My ex wife works for the 911 telecommunications dept in our county and her schedule basically runs every two weeks and she works at night. For one week, Mon-Sun, i have my son at night Mon-Fri and then the whole weekend of that week. This is due to her working at night but she keeps him during the day. The following week i only get him 2 nights a week on the nights she works and then the next week it starts over again. I know this seems confusing and it is. My question is that i wanted to have BI-weekly custody which would allow me to enroll my son into a good pre-school program during the day where i could drop him off, pick him up all w/o her interference. She refuses this option saying she is the “baby sitter of choice” and until he is 4 and goes to school she will not allow him to be with any one else. Also, once he does start school, she wants to change the schedule to revolve around her work which would basically be our son alternating households every two days. I dont agree with this as i feel it does not provide a sense of stability and may cause issues for him later down the road. I would like my son to have a constant environment from week to week where he is not always uprooted every two days. I suppose it would also help to disclose that we already have a seperation agreement filed and we both have “joint legal custody” of our son. What can i do in NC to achieve bi-weekly custody so that my son will not be subjected to such an abnormal and constantly changing schedule? She refuses to to do anything other than what she comes up with nor will she compromise or work with me, so i know it will have to be figured out in court but she says the “baby sitter of choice” deal protects her and i would be wasting my time and money. Any ideas? Also, my son is 3 y/o going on 4 if that helps.


#2

I would need to read the agreement about legal custody to determine what you both can do with regards to enrolling your son in day care, but it would seem that would need to be a joint decision. If you want to change the physical custody schedule and you believe she is not going to agree, you should file an action for child custody to have the court make a determination of the schedule that will begin when your child starts school.