We have only been married for 2 1/2 years
The home you own in MO is yours unless you specifically gave it to the marriage, since it was purchased prior to the marriage.
You have no children together so you would not pay her child support. You could offer her $100 per week to help pay rent somewhere else as post separation support, until she can get “on her feet” or specify a time frame, but you would not be paying child support.
You should consult an attorney. If you are in the military, I suggest that you begin this separation prior to your retirement. NC law is that all marital assets and debts at the time of separation will be divided equally.
You could file for divorce from Bed & Board based on the altercation your daughter and wife got into, but it would take time to file and be heard.
If she will not leave then, I suggest that you leave the home as soon as possible. Why would she want to continue living in a home rented from your best friend? Talk to your friend, read over your “rental agreement” that you signed, if any, and let him/her know that you would need to move out to begin a separation. If there is no rental agreement, your friend can evict her as soon as you are out of the home. I think that 30 days may have to be given but then you should be free to move back in. It’s sort of underhanded if there are children in the home but it is legal if there is no agreement.
The first thing you should do is to consult with an attorney. You need to know where you stand in all aspects of this. The child support and the separate property are not in negotiations, but the rest may be dealt with differently that I have suggested…
I am sorry to hear you are dealing with such a difficult situation. I understand how difficult it can be to protect yourself, especially when there are children involved, even if they are not your own.
I believe that you have prioritized correctly, and getting your daughter out of a dangerous situation is of utmost importance. You have no legal obligation to your Wife
A year ago while I was in Iraq my wife had an affair. We have been going to marriage counseling since Jan 2008 because of this. In Aug 2008 my 16 year old daughter came to live with us in NC. This Dec my wife and daughter got into a physical altercation. Provoked by my wife, but reported by my wife, as an assault on her while she was in the ER. My wife has 2 daughters and I have 1 daughter. We have no children together. I also own a home in MO that I had before I met my wife. I have renters that live there. I am currently renting my best friends house in Jacksonville, NC. Where we all reside, but I have decided that it would be best if I ended this marriage. She has - what I call blackmail - threatened me that her children will suffer from this if we divorce. She said I took an oath to her and her daughters when I married her, but I say the same to her and she broke that oath. I honestly want what is best for my daughter and I. Everything we own is in my name, but I told her I would give her anything she wanted besides that house in MO and 1 of my cars if she would leave and she told me she is not going any where and if I want to divorce her I need to move out and pay support to her and her children even thought they already receive support from their father. I am also retiring in the next 2 months and know that is something I will have to deal with since I want this to end. I am sorry for the long explanation, but I am in a very bad spot in my life