My estranged spouse is threatening to take me to court over property and children’s issues (which I have been trying to resolve with him by way of agreement for a long time). I have a couple of audio tapes of him threatening to beat me up. Would it be considered blackmail to share these tapes with him in the context of asking for a settlement rather than a court case? Would it be considered blackmail to suggest that I might share the tapes with family and/or friends? My main purpose there would be to “clear” my name, which I believe he has vilified. At the same time, I am obviously trying to settle property issues in my favor…???

You should proceed with caution. This is a complicated situation, and that threat could backfire on you.