First, if you have had this schedule and the children have remained with you in your home for the last three years of overnight then you have primary physical custody. If she were taking the children to her home at night this would be a different scenario.
(As a side note, I would not want my ex being in my home for any reason because I would never feel free to move on with my life…this is just my opinion, but you should probably change this arrangement and file for divorce.)
Second, she can NOT take the children away from you. Unless custody has been decided by agreement or court order, each parent has full access to custody. If you do not have a separation agreement for custody and support along with ED, I suggest you getting in to an attorney.
Last, if she is threatening to take you to court over everything, maybe you should consider calling her bluff. Consult an attorney. But I will tell you the first thing he/she will tell you is to get an agreement signed, change the locks and do not let her back into your home. If she has a home, she should be looking after the children there. Child support is based on the number of overnights the children spend with each parent, based on the scenario you described, you would be entitled to child support from her. You may be able to settle for less that the NC guidelines amount since she does watch the children during the day and she may be entitled to alimony, but still you should see what your options are…
Bottom line is, this situation has been going on for 3 years and if you want it to change, you will have to change it. If you truly do not want your marriage to work, you have been separated long enough to file for divorce. But be prepared…if you have let this happen for this long, it’s likely to get ugly when you attempt to change things. She will tell you you can’t do this or can’t do that…research on here. Know your rights. She may tell you that she will take you to court. Get to an attorney so that it’s in writing. There are things you can do to keep her from leaving with the children and moving away. She may threaten a lot of things but looking at the big picture, it looks as though she is still very dependent on you. Hang in there and maybe some of these other folks have some input.
Do you have a custody order or agreement in effect?
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
“Blackmail is the crime of threatening to reveal substantially true
information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates
unless a demand made upon the victim is met. This information is usually
of an embarrassing and/or socially damaging nature. As the information is
substantially true, the act of revealing the information may not be criminal
in its own right nor amount to a civil law defamation; the crime is making demands to withhold it.”
“EXTORTION - The use, or the express or implicit threat of the use, of violence
or other criminal means to cause harm to person, reputation, or property as a
means to obtain property from someone else with his consent.”
I think you are talking abut extortion.
By the way, everything stepmother said is very good advice. I agree with her 100%.
Change the locks and tell her not to come into your home. This will stir up a hornets nest.
Tell her if she gives you problems you want child support. Do not attempt to keep the children from her.
Get a attorney and get temporary custody. That way if she tries to leave the
state with them she will be in trouble.
An afterthought…you may want to devise a way to record this conversation as well as any after this. See if you can get these threats on tape…even if you have to carry it with you…
You can get a recorder on your home phone but if she is staying in the home, she may locate this, unless you have a phone jack not being used that could be hidden. If my ex were in my home every day I would have had this on all along somehow…
Since you are separated, I’m not sure what you could use in court as far as recordings in your home. If you have a recorder on your phone and record conversations that she has with someone else, I’m not sure how the law would look at it since it’s your home…I may have to research that one.
Just make sure that you are prepared. You don’t want to be in the middle of a custody case with her lying to the court about child custody and kicking yourself because you didn’t get her on record saying this or that…
You cannot record phone conversations in North Carolina unless you are both in the state (or both in states that require the consent of only one party) and you can never record conversations that you are not a party to.
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
My ex-wife (serperated wife of 3 years) and myself have 2 children. They both live with me and she will watch the youngest during the day and then the oldest when he gets home from school at my home. When I get home she leaves and goes home. These two kids are the love of my life they mean everything to me and anytime that I don’t do somthing, or give her somthing she wants she thretens to take me to court, or take them and move away. There is more but I would be typing for hours. What can I do?