Can I do this? Need advice, please!


I suspect my husband has taken a large amount of cash (aquired during our marriage and enough to build a house with) and has hidden it in another State. The state of PA where he grew up and where his mom and family live. I am pretty darn sure he has it hidden up there and his mom is helping him to hide it from me. What I want to do is to fill out a change of address form from USPS so any mail he could get at his Moms house would be forwarded here to our address. I hear him talk to his mom in code and I’m pretty sure she is getting mail from a bank, safe deposit box, etc. and I would like to have any mail that could be going to his moms house to be forwarded here.
He is a huge liar and so is his mom. I havent talked to her about her helping him to hide “our life savings” from me because she will lie for him. It shows where he learned to lie from!!
Anyway, can I do a change of address and try to catch him hiding our money? It would be such a relief if I could catch him at it and locate the money. He is very slick and clever and he will never tell or admit anything when it comes to the money.
Thanks so much!


Are you separated? I’m not really sure you can get HIS mail directed to you, however if you have an attorney perhaps you could go through the ‘discovery’ process and force him to show bank records. Also, if the money came from a joint account you should immediately get all the records of account so you can show the transactions during EQ.


We are living together as husband and wife, and have been married for almost 20 yrs. I want to locate the hidden money…I’m tired of the lies about it…He has been saving this money our entire marriage. He assured me years ago he was saving to build a house for us with it, and now he says he doesnt have it. He is lying and I know it! I want to be able to locate it by having any mail that might be going to his moms house forwarded to our house. I check the mail everyday.
I am thinking he could have the money in a safe deposit box in his moms name/her account OR he may have his own account in PA. I heard him talking to his mom on the phone 2 wks ago and He told her “to just throw it away”. He was up there in PA back in Sept…it was a out of the blue trip for NO reason. He only goes up there for a funeral or something like that. He will go years and not visit anyone in PA.
His mom hasnt visited here in 10 or 11 years.


I wouldn’t advise you to intercept his mail.


Thanks for your response, Ryan. What do you advise me to do? I know intercepting his mail would be so easy to do and I would most likely get proof. What can I do?


Intercepting his mail would most likely be against the law. Do you have access to any bank records or was this all cash?


I’m not an attorney, but I would think that tampering with someone else’s mail, even your husband’s, would be a federal offense subject to potential prison time and fines. If you don’t have some bank records that indicate he was transferring money perhaps you could try hiring a private investigator? If what you suspect is true, it would be well worth it to spend some money, even if you have to borrow it.


Yes, it was all in Cash. I’m afraid he is going to get away with “our” money. I wonder if a private investigator could find it. What about if its in his moms name though. Could that be traced? I have his SS# but not his moms, of course. I am feeling defeated right now :frowning:


Maybe a Forensic Accountant could help but that’s going to cost you some serious dough.


I have no idea how much a private investigator costs, but it would cost you nothing to give one or two a call, explain your situation, ask if they can achieve your objective, and have a cost estimate. Keep your spirits up - it is amazing what people can find out about someone with just a name and address.


I think I will consult with a Private Investigator. I wont know until I try, right?