Can I refuse overnight visits until proof of residence is given?

I recently found out that my son’s father had him sleeping in a tent outdoors in the winter on his visits. I know of one occasion but there may have been more. I was unaware at the time.
He had been coming home from his visits with rashes, bloody chapped lips and cols sores on his mouth but I thought he was allergic to something because they would clear up over the next few days while he was at home. But he always came home like that from visits.
Since then, my ex has quit his job and says he has relocated back to the area but was homeless for a month until the place he claims to be renting was ready. He first gave me a false address and was caught in the lie. He is now refusing to provide a rental/ lease agreement to prove he actually has a residence.
Our older son has only gone to approx. 15 visits in the past 2 years. He refuses to go the majority of the time, unless it is a holiday.
Their dad has missed all of his scheduled visits since February and the one time he did come to town he lied and said he was renting an Airbnb. But this was found out after he had taken our son and he refused to bring him back home or prove where he was staying. This was the day I found out about him having our son outdoors the previous visits.
This was not his first time being homeless over the past 5 years. This is a pattern he has.
I don’t believe he has a lease somewhere.
He has violated our custody arrangement many times by taking the kids out of school without permission and flying them to other states without my knowledge. Moving them from one home to another on a weekend visits but not informing me. Having them around people they were not supposed to have unsupervised time with. Taken our oldest to dangerous jobs with him. (body guarding) Refusing to pay for his half of expenses, coming to the house to drop them of instead of meeting me where we agreed to meet, and
As well as filed multiple false motions of contempt against me that have all been proven as false.

His next visit is coming up this weekend and I don’t plan on letting him take our younger son overnight because he still refuses to prove he has a place to sleep indoors. I have already heard from his lawyer and they will file contempt against me.
His living situation is unstable and he has a long history of putting the kids in situations they shouldn’t be in and of being homeless intermittently.
Is this contempt? Or do I have the right to refuse because of my concerns for safety and welfare?

You must follow a court order at all times. However, if you choose to not send your son for a visit, you may have a viable argument against a contempt motion if you reasonably believed your son’s safety or wellbeing would have been at risk and you can prove that belief was reasonable under the circumstances.

Review the language of your court order and see if there are any provisions about notifications of residence address. If so, you may have your own contempt motion as well if has violated this provision.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

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You have the right to set boundaries regarding overnight visits in your home. If you require proof of residence from someone before allowing them to stay overnight, that’s entirely within your prerogative. It’s important to communicate your requirements clearly and respectfully to ensure mutual understanding and respect for your boundaries.