Can my stbx REALLY do this?


#1

Check your agreement for a clause like this
2. Interference. Husband and Wife each shall be free from interference, restraint, authority and control, direct or indirect, by the other, as fully as if he or she were single and unmarried. Neither party hereto shall hereafter disturb, annoy, molest, harass or in any way interfere with the other, directly or indirectly, nor compel or endeavor to compel the other to cohabit or dwell with him or her.

If something like it is there then he can do what he wants… and so can you.

Regards,
James


#2

Thanks James! No there isnt ANYTHING at all even remotely close to that sort of clause-nothing. The stbx swears its in there and our papers are identical to the others however MINE doesnt say a dang thing about it[?] and I have had a few friends look at my copy as well as had a family law ( went in for a free consult) attorney look it over just to confirm I havent lost my complete mind as this saga continues to unfold.
Stbx has custody of our two teenage sons and I have custody of the"baby" who is special needs. I recently found out that he has asked a few of our mutual friends to keep the two boys whilst hes gone on this trip rather than ask me…their mother first! He also says this is completely legal according to his attorney. But theretoo again hes also only paying $260 a month for CS and makes well over $130,000 a year and says his attorney said that is more than fair in CS settlement for this area in NC[?]

I feel as if I have been totally taken and am now rendered powerless because I signed the separation agreement which is now binding and cant prove “medically” that I was under pressure so I am stuck I suppose with his continuing to get away with it all legally or not…even if our papers dont say a word in relation to what you have kindly relayed to me. Thanks again.
S-


#3

Hi Suzanna
Sorry about the way this is for you I am going though just about the samething but my STBX is fighting the sep agr why? I do not know this now is going on a year and what a waste of time and money this is we had it all put on paper signed with no problems until people got her head messed up and she has lost it all from the biz to her self what a loser. We are the same now then we where a year ago 50/50. The judge is not going to give her primary and this is what she wants it not the love of the children but to use them.
Can I ask you this why are you worried about his trip and having his girl friend going? are you wanting to get back with him? looks and sounds like no I know its hard I went though it been with her over 17yrs and to tell the truth I am so glad she is gone.
In time this all will be nothing and you will find a much better man and you will also do better trust me[:D].
Goodluck hope things work out for you
Bye for now


#4
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ARTHURP[/i] [br]Hi Suzanna Sorry about the way this is for you Can I ask you this why are you worried about his trip and having his girl friend going? are you wanting to get back with him? looks and sounds like no I know its hard I went though it been with her over 17yrs and to tell the truth I am so glad she is gone. In time this all will be nothing and you will find a much better man and you will also do better trust me[:D]. Goodluck hope things work out for you Bye for now

Thanks Arthurp-
Ummmm…NO!! I am not the least bit interested in getting back with this man. Tried it one too many dozen times throughout our years of marriage and this was the last straw so to speak. No…my reason for asking about this trip is because he claims to never have any extra money for anything when it comes to the kids hes got custody of nor the baby I have and yet he spends a good bit on himself as well as his relationship costs…from what I gather from the kids she is VERY high maintanence in all ways and now hes paying for this trip for two when this happens to be the very same time all of our children are on spring break…it just makes no sense to me at all as his priorities seemed a bit… ahhh…screwy??? Especially considering he portrayed himself and inevitably sold himself to his lawyer as being the “better parent/provider” for our two older children and hes neglected them terribly since gaining custody. I am, however, right now rendered powerless basically in trying to fight for custody as I havent been able to find a “real” job since separating months ago therefor I can not offer any real stability currently for them.
S-


#5

Hey Suzanna
Sorry to here that his trip is worth more then spending time with the childrn. In time the children will see that he is not what he says he is my children are finding out it started with my daughter 13 going on 21 and now the boy 11 finding what a loser she is they are both tired of the whole thing 50/50 haveing to sleep in the same room (2 bedroom appt) that she has, not eating right she does not cook and this just keeps on hope next month this will stop HOPE a very big word.
As far as his trip mine tells everyone the same thing no money no money yea right, he will find out in time what he has lost you will see this for sure just keep happy and Thank the Lord this will soon be over.
Thank you bye for now


#6

If he is going to be your ex and have interest in working things out then way do you care. I just finished this process andnever wanted my ex back so i did care what she did. the only reason i can see to care what he does is that you want to get back with him. if that is the case then why did you file for divorce ?


#7
quote:
[i]Originally posted by gladsheisgone[/i] [br]If he is going to be your ex and have interest in working things out then way do you care. I just finished this process andnever wanted my ex back so i did care what she did. the only reason i can see to care what he does is that you want to get back with him. if that is the case then why did you file for divorce ?

Thanks for your response…evidently there are a number of folk who seem to think that I want to remain married to my stbx and I suppose I can understand due to my post, however, those who seem to think this do not know me nor know the MANY ramifications that entail the divorce. I wont go into all that either. I do not care what the stbx does however I DO care about his actions and how they represent themselves before the children he manipulated the courts in getting custody of. I was a stay at home mom for many many years. I lent way to my own career to do this…with NO regrets even now in spite of this mess… I homeschooled my two older children until they were in their last years of grade school. I raised them basically on my own as the stbx was busy persuing his career as well as the “honeys”. I raised them with morals…principles…values…you know the good stuff to lead them down the right paths of life. My biggest concern is how THIS is reading to my children. One of my teens is already having issues with girlfriends and I feel that his father going off on a trip with a girlfriend isnt sending very good moral vibes ya know? Course since hes recieved the “blessing” from his attorny I guess it doesnt matter much how I feel now does it? I am already seeing signs of my teenage boys running slightly amuck and it honestly bugs me to no end because no matter how I raised them they are still at the age where they can be impressed by anything…right now its their fathers behavoir…doing what he did for years behind my back now its out in the open. For what its worth…I did NOT file for divorce. Wanted to…but couldnt because I didnt have the money to do so and didnt have family to help me fight this. I didnt fight the law…and the law still won.[;)]And yeah…I am still angry but do NOT want him back…I would rather lick the floors of a public restroom[:0]


#8

Hey Suzanna
I feel your pain I really do. I must go though this everytime I see my children and they tell me all about her and what she is doing I tell them that this is you and your mother and when you are with me this is you and me. This hurts me very very much but I know they see what is right and what is wrong she lies to them all the time and they see it everytime. When they ask me something I always tell them the truth even though I do not want to at times but I must this is how I am and this is I want my children to be and they see this in me and themselves its always better to tell the truth then to lie.
Like I said children are smarter and see what is right and wrong and when they someone who doing wrong thye either say it or hold it in side and this is where you mom need to look at your children and find out are they. I hope you have a good open heart with them they are at they age where it can be bad for them in later years.
Please dont let the EX show them the wrong ways in life if he has any heart or brain he will know what is right and wrong. Do you talk to him I know its hard I find it very very hard to even look at my STBX she looks like S!@# and I know deep down she knows she has done wrong not just with me but the children and all who know her she is a loser and lost it all. I had to talk with her the other day and I looked at her and she does nails for a living and her nails look bad and even her whole look about her looks bad she has aged at least 5 to 10 years of all the stress that she has on her and it shows.
She tries to put it on me but she knows who has done wrong and with you he knows he has done wrong and in time he will see this he a loser sorry to say this but its true just like mine.
I hope in time this will all be over for you and you will come out like a champ and your children will see this aswell
Good luck to and your children
Bye for now


#9

Dear Suzanna:

Greetings. Short answer - yes he can go. He clearly is stating that he is not having sex, which is a crime in NC if not between married parties (although it may not be a crime in the Bahamas where he is going). Sorry. Good luck and hopefully you too will find someone better to go to the Bahamas with in the near future!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#10

I found out last night that my stbx is going to the Bahamas the end of this month with his girlfriend. Our divorce isnt final until mid June( hes had the girlfriend for exactly as long as we have been separated) he told me that he called his lawyer who gave him his blessing and told him that he CAN legally take her anywhere he wants to go…even though we are legally still married. The ex insists that he also made it clear to his lawyer that the two of them will be sharing not only the same room but also the same bed although since shes catholic they will NOT be having sex[V] and his lawyer again told him that its FINE to just go have fun and to not worry about committing adultry because our separation agreement will cover his butt IF they happen to engage in sex. I may be a dummy but I swear I can not find ONE place in any part of our agreement where it states not only can we date but its fine to engage in sex as well??