Child support/retirement

I think you are talking about two separate issues here, i.e. your divorce and the division of assets and child support. If it is court ordered child support by the NC Guidelines it can be automatically deducted from his pay.

The issue is that this man doesn’t always work. Over the 20 years we’ve been married, he has had 12-14 jobs. He has gone periods of 6 months (several times,) 12 months and 2 1/2 years without working. I know that is very hard to believe but it’s true!!! He is a mooch and a leech! If he doesn’t work, I won’t get child support. I don’t think it will be fair for him to get 1/2 my retirement if he doesn’t pay!

mal is correct, you are talking about two separate issues. Child support and ED are separate issues in the courts. You can have a statement put into the separation agreement that he waives his rights to your retirement funds, but NC law dictates that he is entitled to 1/2 of the amount up to the date of separation.
If he decides not to sign an agreement ED then would be decided in court. This is where you could show that he has not held down stable employment, which may entitle you to more than half the distribution.

Child support is separate in the courts from everything else, even custody. Though custody does have bearing on the support amount. Child support enforcement is a double edge sword. If he doesn’t pay and gets taken to court enough times, he can be put into jail. But that draws out the process of support and lengthens the amount of contact and aggrivation you must deal with.
If you do not believe that he will pay, you will need to be prepared to raise your child(ren) without support…

No, there is no system in place to take it from the retirement. Generally, the retirement is transferred to him through something called a qualified domestic relations order and maintained in a retirement account in his name. This should take place well before your child reached the age of 18.

If your ex fails to pay child support you should pursue that through the courts and ask them to order him to pay.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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Although Mrs Nevicosi gives good legal advice, you do as stepmother points out, need to be prepared to raise your child(ren)on your own. If a parent is dead set against psupporting their child there really isn’t anything you can do about it. The court merry go round is a joke and you get bits of support here and there. This is my reality… ex is 10000.00 in arears, he has our son EVERY weekend, I have refused vistation once when my ex’s house was so nasty that I didn’t feel it was sanitary for my son. My ex’s momma and sister pay all his bills. He “piddles” in his fully equiped mechanic shop int the back yard of his house. He has a boat, motorcycle, five acres of land in addition to the expensive equipment in the shop. Although he has let alot of his stuff fall into disrepair. He takes our son to movies, trips to Orlando, leather jackets, video games, trips to Frankie’s (which is an arcade type place). I have had to pay for all the essentials from toothbrushs to insurance. I sometimes even buy personal hygene items for him to take to keep at his dad’s because he comes home smelling like BO because his dad doesn’t have any deodorant at his house that my son can use. Going to court has gotten me only about 2500.00 in the past two years. Ex has only spent one night in jail. He still has his driver’s license, he doesn’t file taxes, so I don’t get any relief there. So he has it all his way… he doesn’t care that he has nothing or that he is teachng our son that it’s okay to be lazy. This is the reality for some. Be prepared.

If my stbx is awarded 1/2 of my retirement and is ordered to pay child support, what happens if he doesn’t pay? It is my understanding that he is eligibile for 1/2 of what is in my retirement account as of right now. However, he doesn’t get it until I retire in 15 years. He will have to pay child support for 7 years…but I don’t see that really happening due to his spotty work history and inability to maintain a job. So, when all is said and done and I retire in 15 years, is there some system in place so that he doesn’t get my retirement or the portion that he owes me is reimbursed?