Were the terms of the separation agreement incorporated into the divorce order? Do you have any of these threats taped? (Telephone calls recorded, answering machine, emails he sent, notes he wrote?)
Sounds like the new girlfriend is a factor here, and that is not at all surprising… happens all the time from what I have read here on this site!
It was filed with our Divorce decree. It is a legal binding contract. It was not incorporated into the divorce order but filed with it and is is contract that is protected by NC state law. So I can sue him if he breeches the contract. But I really don’t have 5 grand for a lawyer or time… since I live month to month…The girlfriend claims she isn’t involved with his actions.
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[i]Originally posted by CassieAnne[/i] [br]Were the terms of the separation agreement incorporated into the divorce order? Do you have any of these threats taped? (Telephone calls recorded, answering machine, emails he sent, notes he wrote?)Sounds like the new girlfriend is a factor here, and that is not at all surprising… happens all the time from what I have read here on this site!
A restraining order will not keep him away from the child, only you. If there have been no threats towards the child, no physical harm or danger of harm then there is no reason to keep him from having his visit.
It sounds as though you are going what most go through during the first year of separation. I’ll admit that it sounds as though the new girlfriend may be a factor in his attitude about continuing to keep paying you for anther 3-4 years for a total of 7 years…but regardless, it is no excuse for threatening behavoir. Why would she tell you if she was involved in his actions???
He could certainly file to have child support looked at and if there has been a 15% change in income or lifestyle then he could possibly get it modified. Child support can be modified every 3 years without this change.
I’m not certain about the medical insurance…I didn’t think it was legal to cover someone with medical insurance that is not a relative…?
The alimony he’s probably stuck with paying due to the contract, but as I said, the insurance is questionable and the child support can be modified.
For “Peace” sake I have offered to get rid of my expensive car costing me approximately $700 per month including payment, insurance and gas…in exchange for a more afordable car… freeing up that money will allow me to pay for my own insurance and decrease the alimony by a few hundred dollars a month, ultamately saving him $500 per month in what he is paying me. Do you think that I am being fair? I do, because it is not in my favor whatsoever, I’m just trying to get along and still survive and make necessary sacrifices, like the car or any other non-essentials…
I think his threats are unnecessary and if he agrees to my proposals that will be a factor. He must STOP with the threats.
I don’t blame the girlfriend if she is encouraging him, because she chose not to seek financial support from her ex altogether so she sees me as a mooch… However this is what my ex and I agreed too mutually… But I do think I need to “wean” off of his support slowly and get used to being independent again. It actually feels kind of good but VERY SCARY too…
quote:
[i]Originally posted by stepmother[/i] [br]A restraining order will not keep him away from the child, only you. If there have been no threats towards the child, no physical harm or danger of harm then there is no reason to keep him from having his visit.It sounds as though you are going what most go through during the first year of separation. I’ll admit that it sounds as though the new girlfriend may be a factor in his attitude about continuing to keep paying you for anther 3-4 years for a total of 7 years…but regardless, it is no excuse for threatening behavoir. Why would she tell you if she was involved in his actions???
He could certainly file to have child support looked at and if there has been a 15% change in income or lifestyle then he could possibly get it modified. Child support can be modified every 3 years without this change.
I’m not certain about the medical insurance…I didn’t think it was legal to cover someone with medical insurance that is not a relative…?
The alimony he’s probably stuck with paying due to the contract, but as I said, the insurance is questionable and the child support can be modified.
If your ex husband is making these threats and you believe he is serious and he poses a threat to you and your child, you can pursue a protective order on behalf or yourself and your minor child. If you cannot afford to hire an attorney to assist you in pursuing this, you can contact Interact and request assistance.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
I think you being open minded and trying to work with him is a good idea. You trying to be more independent is also a good idea. A lot can change in a year, much less in 7 so there are probably going to be more changes to come…whatever you decided to do, get in writing though to protect both of you in the future. Signed and notarized if you can…
Talking with him and be adult about it. Let him know that he agreed to this situation and that you are willing to work with him but he has no reason to change his attitude towards you. If it’s due to the someone else’s influence then he should take a look at why that person is pushing him to make these changes. Maybe he wants to marry her…maybe there are other situations that you don’t know about (and aren’t your business)that he has to worry about. The point is that the law is on your side, but if you have had an amicable relationship up to now then there’s no reason to change it, providing you aren’t interferring with his life or his relationship with the child…
I receive alimony/child support/medical benefits from my ex-husband. I have a very nice sep. agreement. The alimony goes until 2011. I’m very grateful and always say thank you. This was an agreed upon amount and term. He wasn’t forced into anything. It has been in effect for 4 years with no problems. Until lately, he has threatened 3 months in a row to ‘cut me off’ and today says he terminated the med. benefits. Nothing has happened as far as fighting or anything really. He has recently moved in with girlfriend, changed jobs and quit smoking. His threats are getting more deep than money, he has threatened to plant drugs in my home and have my home raided, he has threatened to take my son, to burn me, to burry me, to ruin my existence, he hopes I die basically. I’m afraid. I’m wondering where do I stand legally. I don’t have money to pay up front for a lawyer. Should I file a restraining order and keep him from taking my son for his regular scheduled week-end OR will that get me in trouble? I have tried repeatedly to get to the root of his anger. Afterall we have been apart for 4 years. I’m baffled and confused and looking for the right thing to do.
thank you