A couple months ago, I discovery that my wife has had 3 separate affairs over the previous year. We are in counseling and trying to work thru our issues. And I told her that I forgave her. Obviously I don’t condone her actions, I’m just trying to keep my family together. But do my attempts to work thru these issues appear as condonation to the court?
It would seem that the court should recognize the efforts of one party to reconcile, but not be penalized by paying alimony if those efforts are unsuccessful.
Whether the acts of adultery are condoned and forgiven is really based on the totality of the circumstances, and telling her that you have forgiven her goes a long way. That said, if you are still working through your marital issues through counseling, it can be argued that your words were merely a part of the act of trying to work through the situation and reconcile the marriage, but that it doesn’t mean the adultery was condoned. If time passes, counseling stops and the marital relationship resumes, the words spoken will have a much more significant meaning.