Contempt of court all the way around

Dear Issues39:

Greetings. In answers to your questions:

  1. Your ex-wife may be in contempt of court for not allowing/facilitating visitation depending on the terms of the order. You may be able to file a Motion to Show Cause against her, asking the court to hold her in contempt. In Wake County, there are forms on line to assist people to do this.

  2. Chldren are under the power of the court until they are 18 years old. Your minor child cannot determine her own visitation until she is an adult, although in a hearing her thoughts and concerns matter. My suggestion is to schedule a counseling meeting for your next visit to determine what the problem is.

  3. Your next steps are to either file a motion to modify custody, since withholding custody is not in the best interest of the minor child, or to file a motion to show cause.

Best of luck with this. Please continue to keep in touch with your daughter as your influence in her life may be the only thing that keeps her from becoming just like her mother!

History:
Married for 17 1/2 years, seperated seval time durin the marriage. 1 child born into the marriage. Caught wife having an affair, Divorced in December of 1997. Had visitation with my daughter every other week, Summer (2weeks), and Holidays. No child support (agreed upon by both parties). Paid all material dedit working as many hours as possible and any odd job that I could find. All medical for my daughter(out of pocket, no insurance). Ex-wife remarried(to the man shw was having the affair with) been married fr 4 or 5 years. During the past 4 to 6 years has harassed me and anyone I have been involved with. Has brain washed my daughter into believing that I was the one who left our marriage and that I do not care about my daughter. My ex-wife drills my daughter for any information.
Due to the nature of my job, I work long hours(6 days a week)and do not have alot of social time. I work very early hours, therefore this means I have an early bedtime.
I bought my daughter a cell phone so that she and I could stay in touch, ith ut her mother jumping into our conversations.
When it was my week to have my daughter, I would leave work @ 2:00 pm and drive about 15 miles to pick her up from school, take her to her mothers house to get clothes for the week and then drive 25 miles back to my apartment. The weeks tha I had my daughter, she wouldhave to get up in the mornings @ 3:00 or 4:00 am and go back to her mothers house (25 miles) away, to get ready for school. Her mother or stepfather would then take her to school. Our only full day of visitation was Sunday’s, and this was the day that whe returned to her mother. Her mother would never bring my daughter to me, unless she was sick or her mother had to work evening hours. Her mother only works about 15 hours a week and NO Weekends. The weeks that my daughter was with her mother, I called her everyday on her cellphone to se how she was, and how school went for the day. Somethime she would call me as soon as she got home from school, or later on in the evening. I usuallyturn my cell phone off around 6:30 pm every evening and am in bed by 7:30 pm at the lastest. My daughter has been aware of my work schedule for years. Just so we could spend time together my daughter would go to work with me on Saturday’s. I have met back up with my High School sweetheart, which myself an ex-wife all went t school together. We all know each other. My daughter has met her and said she really likes her. She also has a daughter. My daughter and her daughter are a year apart in age, and they both get along very well. We all shared a couple of weekends together. I guess my daughter told her mother how much she enjoyed the time that we all spent together. Since then my daughter has stopped calling me. When I ould get through to my daughter and asked why she has not returned my calls, she says that her phone was not charged or her phone was messing up. Well, the phone always works when her mother would call to harass me. So, I had the phone disconnected. My ex-wife has taken me to court for child support and we have joint custody, she has prmary and I have secondary. At the same time I have take a restraining order out on her for harassment. Paid a local lawyer $2500.00, then we settled out of court. I pay m child support every month on time. We also split any medical bills 50/50- I have no insurance. My visitation with my daughter is supposed to be every other weekend, and she is o be dropped off at my sister’s house. I pick her up from there on Friday’s, and then on Sunday her mother picks her up.
I have see my daughter only 4 times since the visitation has changed in April 2003. i have received medical bills that my ex-wife says she has paid in full(probally with the child support money) and I am to send her my half. I called to verify the amount of the bills and hat has been paid, but the billing department can not discuss the amout because it’s in my ex-wifes name. I had no prior knowledge of any medical needs, however I am to be hotified of any medical problems. I have contacted my lawyer and made her aware of the issues. She has mailed a letter to my ex-wifes attorney to have my daughter all me an schedule visitaion. Also, for me not to pay ay of the medical bills until I receive documentation of the medical records and charges with diagnosis.
Questions:

  1. Is my ex-wife in contmpt of court by not allowing visitation with my daughter?
  2. My daughter will be 16 years old this year. I have been told that she can decide if she wants to have visitation with me or not. Is this true?
  3. If my daughter does not want to have visitation with me, but her mother still insists on holding the medical bills and not informing me of medical problems, what are my next steps?

I can not afford more legal fee’s, I am still paying off my lawyer’s bill and medical bills prior to going to court for child support.
How do you stop a money hungery, bitter hearted, evil minded person?
Welcome any advise…